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Pictures
Contributed by
Kie-Kie
on
Friday, 28th October 2005 @ 09:33:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Faded Pictures
Tattered and torn
A pale reminder of the conception
Of the feelings that were born
Emotions held captive
In a titanium frame
You and I the players
In love's little game
Hidden by a glossy surface
Those other times of pain
The times when we fought
That we'll never show again
Showing everything
Showing nothing
When we look back
We can see SOMETHING
Only the people
Trapped within
Can see it, feel it
Something dim
You and I are the only ones
Who can see behind the scenes
Of the beautiful picture's frame
That decieves others to see dreams
We can see the pain
Hidden behind the glass
What was really going on
Why we made a scene in class
As the pictures faded
It always seemed to me
So did our love
And we soon ceased to be
So kiss me one last time
Kiss me in the rain
And maybe that photograph will show
A portion of our pain
If we could take a picture
One that doesn't lie
We might understand what went wrong
And help eachother cry
But as I look through this box
There's no pictures that I see
Telling me what went wrong
Instead of how it ought to be
A picture says a thousand words
It hides a million more
We figured that out too late
And our ship sunk off a rocky shore
Copyright ©
Kie-Kie
... [
2005-10-28 21:33:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 28th October 2005 @ 10:03:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| well kiela this was a wonderful poem. i liked the rhymes, the style, and the ending. the ending stood out because it had a different emotional impact and was the slightest bit different from the rest writing wise. i loved the first stanza however. that diction, i wished did show throughout more of the poem instead of just the beginning, but your poem had a purpose, it it portrayed that purpose. using more diction like that would have otherwise interfered possibly. as this poem stands, since it wasnt vague and kept to a theme and sort of story progression it didnt seem long, but i think that with focusing so much on certain objects and themes, it can actually overpower it and weaken the meaning. remember there is always photoshop to make old pictures new again...and slightly distorted if so wished =] |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mild_Tempest on
Friday, 28th October 2005 @ 11:30:28 PM AEST
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Omgosh great poem. It really pulled me in. Thanks for sharing. :D
-Will |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 03:31:21 AM AEST
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The ever so talented Kiela produces yet another remarkable write. Captivating from start to finish. So true when you say
A picture says a thousand words yet it hides a million more.
It's always a pleasure to read such remarkable work by a very gifted poetess.
Well done.
Much love,
Sue |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 03:52:21 AM AEST
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| A very moving poem. can relate to it |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by brokenwings on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 06:04:04 AM AEST
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i am not one to critize other peoples writings so i'm not gonna, i have none, it came from your heart and to me that is where the real talent lies. You wrote of honesty, of how pictures lie, and how love fades and falls apart and what is left are the pictures that told all the lies we hide, great write,
tasha |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 06:15:26 AM AEST
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| WAHH! You've done it again! How is you cna be so better in touch with expressing your emotions then the rest of us? NICLY DONE! |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 04:52:46 AM AEST
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Wow this was brilliant. You expressed your pain and emotions so beautifully.
Loved it
Love Angelxxx |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 05:14:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Kiela, this was such a beautiful poem. You have expressed yourself so beautifully.
This is just wonderful you wower you.
Jane~ |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 05:14:15 AM AEST
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Kiela, this was such a beautiful poem. You have expressed yourself so beautifully.
This is just wonderful you wower you.
Jane~ |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 08:50:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Pictures can tell a story, of lies or truth this was a great write! Glad to have read it! Christina |
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Re: Pictures
(User Rating: 1 )
by slogan on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 11:27:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great peice of work.. keep it up...jh |
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