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Intemptesta Nox...
Contributed by
Lashing_Tongue
on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 03:41:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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Armiger abs agnatio mei ersurito pravus perpes
Armed with only my wicked eternal hunger
Et mei pullus lepor lepos nox noctis
And my dark nocturnal charm
Pedes incomitatus inter sepulchrum
I walk alone through the grave
Exsulto ab mei socius inferia
Reveling with my brethren who lie below
Tripudio lene actus pulvis abs aetas pridem
Dancing slowly through the dust of past lives
Mie senus aliquid dulcitudo dulcitudinis adpropinquo
I sense something sweet nearby
Actus umbra erga mei exinde delectation
Moving through shadow toward my next delight
Ibi! Qua supplex ante tumuluslacrima?
There! She kneels before the gravestonetears?
Mei absit atrer subsisto intus mei pectus
My dark heart stops within my chest
Mei labia distraho emitto suspiria genialis
My lips part with a lustful sigh
Quamobrem te hic, virgo pulchellus?
Why are you here, beautiful child?
Planctum haud alio vestra conclamo amor
Mourn not for your lost love,
Decido mei sempiterna amplexus, altilis lenis
Fall into my eternal embrace, gentle dove
Occludo mei occulus et combibo te mollis pneum cassia
I close my eyes and drink in your soft scent
Fiendo arguo te multus nunc nox noctis, mei tentatio deliciae
I will show you much tonight, my sweet temptation
Abnocto abs mei, egi te aevum abs mei
Spend this night with me, spend your life with me
Voro te cruor et degusto te vulnus
I will taste your blood and lick your wounds
Annuo mei medicor te lego mortalitus
Let me heal you through death
Mei cruento labia desiderium te, ardens abs aestuo
My bloody lips long for you, I burn with desire
Abeo alio mei, liber dulcis aliquantulus
Die for me, sweet little girl
Copyright ©
Lashing_Tongue
... [
2005-10-29 15:41:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 04:17:05 PM AEST
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This is quite good LT. Some really good expressive words in here. I think it would've been even more potent, if you posted it fully in one language first, then in the second after...As opposed to breaking it down, line by line. Nevertheless, it's still a good read. With this write, you show strong potential, and it would be a shame for it to go unnoticed because you're hated on here...I'd reign in that tongue when it comes to fellow ypdc'ers, and release your anger through some fantastic writes instead. Then we all win. This is my favourite line;
Dancing slowly through the dust of past lives...
Keep up the writes, and keep posting in English too, so more of us can enjoy.
Scorp.
(Who must be turning a new leaf or something) :O |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by ChibiMiroku on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 05:27:28 PM AEST
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Amazingly done. >.>
I could try and write a poem in Latin, but I'm not nearly good enough at it. Original to teh max! :D
My favorite line: Let me heal you through death |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 06:55:14 PM AEST
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Wow, I really enjoyed this one, it's dark, but passionate, very attention grabbing.
I'd pick a line but I liked them all,
maybe:
Fall into my eternal embrace, gentle dove
Amazing write, and it was a pleasure reading. I hope to see more.
-Cassy |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 07:43:51 PM AEST
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Not as good as the previous poem but yes as scorp said, a good poem. The spaces in this one are there and help the read along. I am not really one for vampire write but this one was more of a lustful desire more than "vampire"... That was a good thing though
~Clark |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 10:57:11 PM AEST
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I can't believe I didn't notice the English first time around! *slaps forehead* I'm a bit blind, I'm sorry...
Excellent stuff though, as vampire writes tend to be hit and miss for me, you filled this one with atmosphere, emotion, and just plain skill. There's an aura of beauty around this one and the style just pours out of it. I'm surprised this wasn't a rhyming poem as well, because it read like one. It's pacing was well done, and the so much was said with a level of subtlety. Excellent stuff. |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 11:17:22 PM AEST
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| Now that was a truly dark poem. Karen will deffinetly like this one! as do I. |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by SkillzWayAboveYours on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 04:04:08 PM AEST
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(Comment deleted due to offensive content. If you think that someone has broken the rules, please show proof to a moderator or member of admin who will be happy to help. Until then, no more comments like this. Thankyou. - Moderator_16) |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lashing_Tongue on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 06:59:56 PM AEST
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| Deleted for personal attack. There are other ways to get your point across respectfully without using offensive names or a condescending attitude. -Moderator |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 07:10:20 PM AEST
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Dark, yes, and well crafted. I applaud your ability to write in two (or more?) languages. I have enough trouble with one!!! lol
This left me with a great sense of dark and dread, very well portrayed!! |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 05:34:53 PM AEST
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i'll make it simple, " MASTERPEICE "
worry 'bout your own skin u most deffinately have suceeded, keep it coming . . .
Ben |
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Re: Intemptesta Nox...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 25th December 2005 @ 03:42:13 AM AEST
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"my bloody lips burn for you, etc,etcetc,-tiresome. Tiresome, and old, and used, and predictable, and obvious. The type of language found in in really bad comic books. What is the point of the latin apart from letting people know you can write latin?
I will never read another ever again. |
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