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Brave Americans
Contributed by
mrpeanut64
on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 03:27:51 AM in AEST
Topic:
Patriotic
|
Separated and all alone
Hidden behind this rubble
The enemy pressing ever closer
I knew I was in trouble
The Fighting lasted all through the day
Now the darkness closing fast
Unless help came up pretty quick
This night would be my last
Almost out of ammo
And exhaustion pretty near
I feel this arm come round me
And a voice whisper in my ear
Were here to help, I heard him say
As he positioned himself on my right
I brought some friends if you dont mind
To see us through this night
Strangest site Ive ever seen
For none were dressed the same
Minutemen, Bluecoats, Rebs, and more
From the history books they came
The battle raged all though the night
Sometimes hand to hand
Out numbered, out gunned, no matter the odds
It was here we made our stand
It ended just before first light
And I could finally get some rest
I closed my eyes and fell asleep
Guarded by Americas best
They found me all alone that morning
Surrounded by enemy dead
They gave me a medal for bravery
Winning all alone it said
Battle fatigue they called it
When the report was finally read
Thanked me for a job well done
And sent me home instead
But I know that they are still out there
Waiting for that soldiers call
Fighting in the name of liberty
Brave Americans one and all
Copyright ©
mrpeanut64
... [
2005-11-02 03:27:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Brave Americans
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 03:05:14 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I really enjoyed this one. To feel a part of a long line stretching back through history is one thing - its something very special to have that history roll back into your life, through your hands and eyes, and your blood and heart, and infuse you with the will and courage to do what must be done.
Then again, its a pretty good ghost story, all by itself. A good write,
Spike |
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Re: Brave Americans
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Tuesday, 8th November 2005 @ 07:26:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This write is very well done and it flows very
smooth. From a soldier who’s in Iraq right
now thank you for write words to honor those
that server. I’ve been over here for 10 months
now and missed a lot. My little girl is 9 months
old and I missed her berth and the first year of
her life. Its hard and I thank you for the words
you wrote it brings a smile to the end of a hard
day. Take care and keep up the writes….Steve
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Re: Brave Americans
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 9th November 2005 @ 06:33:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| You've told a full and poignant story here, with nice attention to your metering and rhyming structure. It was consistent throughout the entire write, with a lot of meaning behind each of the verses, none of which seem forced. If anything, maybe you could put quotation marks over the parts where someone was talking, as that's my only quabble here, and lol I find that to be hardly a quabble. The write was amazing, well done. |
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Re: Brave Americans
(User Rating: 1 )
by ButchHoward on
Friday, 30th December 2005 @ 04:31:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Outstanding! Reading this reminds me of a close friend who served in Viet Nam. His fire base was overrun one night and after running out of ammo, he had to run from one body to another to get another weapon to keep firing. After the enemy blew up the ammo dump, he was among only a handful of survivors. It almost sounds as if you were there with him that night!
This poem really touched me. I particularly love the line about "Minutemen, Bluecoats, Rebs, and more, From the history books they came." What a striking image. I could almost smell the gunpowder and the death.
Semper Fidelis
Butch Howard
Savannah, GA
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Re: Brave Americans
(User Rating: 1 )
by mecatpurrson on
Saturday, 21st June 2008 @ 08:34:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Extremely well written rhyming poem. Great story line, too. Gives you chills reading it. Kudos. |
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