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Souls in Despair
Contributed by
Lashing_Tongue
on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 07:19:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
The sound of her soft footsteps
So close as she passes by
Walking out of my life
I long to lift my gaze from the floor
If only for a second
But I look too often as it is
And it leaves me dying for more
And she says
Ill see you tonight
But I know where shes going
Our souls are crushed
We turn to dust
Betrayed by lust
In pain we trust
Tears burn my face as I turn away
If I look her eyes will captivate me
I will drown in those radiant pools
Her beautiful lips will lacerate me
The ghost of our love will rise
And I will lose the strength I need
To break my own heart
And she says
Ill see you tonight
But I know the taste in her kiss
Souls in despair
Lovers beware
Life is unfair
And love is a snare
Hold me tightly while I cry
Silence my sobbing with your touch
Close my eyes with gentle kisses
How can anything hurt this much
I do not want to live anymore
I want to die in her arms
Would she even cry for me?
And she said
Ill see you tonight
But I know shell never see me again
Our souls were crushed
Life was unjust
Betrayed by lust
In each other we trust
And he said
Ill see you tonight
And I know he loves me
Copyright ©
Lashing_Tongue
... [
2005-11-02 19:19:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 08:24:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow... very nice, I think I got all caught up and lost in the moment lol. It's just so sweet, loving yet, cautious? I'm not exaclty sure, but it was an amazing poem. Loved it.
-Cassy |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 08:56:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Liked it......and maybe the two should, know?!?!?! Hm...differ write, yet meanings and words, tell much.!
Thanks for sharing the write, both of ya.! Brandin.and??? Only know Dark .....Keep posting, and penning
Brew~ |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 09:04:54 PM AEST
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What a write. I really enjoyed this. The structure was unique, and I just so easily put myself into the male's shoes here. The ending was something I actually went through just today, so this hit me personally like a tonne of bricks. The past little while I've seen this kind of situation grow, and I don't know how else to say it, this just kind of struck a chord with me. The rhyming verses held some wisdom in their brevity as well. I really enjoyed this, it's nice to see collaborations coming out with this quality stuff.
None of the above was hyperbolic. This was enjoyable to read. |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 09:05:31 PM AEST
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I love co-writes and this is done so well.
The two of you write so well together. Well done . I totally loved it.
*hugs*
sue |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 11:31:37 PM AEST
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| this was great! Just proving more and more how taleted you both are. |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 3rd November 2005 @ 02:52:29 AM AEST
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hmmm nicely done kids.
Very creative with this. |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by mjh0813 on
Thursday, 3rd November 2005 @ 09:14:57 AM AEST
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wow!! this was really good. i liked it. i was confused at first but i re read it and then i got it. nicely done!!
meghann |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 4th November 2005 @ 12:56:19 PM AEST
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Jacklyn & Brandin: You two did a great job with this piece. You should definitely consider another co-write in the future. This flowed effortlessly, and was a strong, emotive write. Hmmm...I seem to like to break my own heart too...lol
Keep it up you two!
Scorp. |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 01:37:30 PM AEST
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wow
this is so good |
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Re: Souls in Despair
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 05:30:19 PM AEST
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i don't look at who did what but that it was done and what do i get from it lots of raw emotion and self scrutinizing, beautifuly
written and very compelling 2 read a most interesting form of duet interplay . . .
Ben |
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