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abstact meditations on free will in a facist culture
Contributed by
PLformalyknownasPpaul
on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 07:45:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Midnight comes and goes, I think.
I cant sleep the lights too bright for my eyes. Im paralyzed. Its got me paralyzed, blinded by the light.
I want to sleep, I need to sleep.
But the lights too bright. The wall must hold.
I am myself, I am myself.
Im in a vice. The wall must hold
Squeezing, Squeezing
The wall must hold, I am myself .
Reality, what is reality? It bends.
The Shiny Smiley People are leaning out from the box, arms extended holding out handfuls of the Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles, tempting me to defy my eyes. Im wide awake. This is not a dream.
The wall must hold, I am myself.
But theyre attacking my mind looking for a way in.
The wall must hold, I am myself.
I resist sending out waves of my Personality to drive them back.
They wait on the other side of the room. I close my eyes, no surprise. I cant break free, it makes no difference your etched into the lids of my eyes, Im paralyzed.
The Shiny Black Beetles With the Sabre Smiles wait, the Shiny Smiley People in the box watch.
The wall must hold, I am my self.
Anger will sustain me.
Damn you! Ill pick you up and throw you out of the window, smash you into a million pieces. But I cant move my arms.
What window? Is that air Im breathing?
I am weak I need to sleep, I am paralyzed.
I want to get up and turn you of but you are on the other side of the room, staring down at me, the Eye of the Beast.
Where are my arms? Why cant I move my neck?
Keep away from my brain you Shiny Smiley People. Stay back you Shiny Black Beetles With Sabre Smiles. I cant take it This supposed to cure me Im going insane.
The wall must hold, I am myself
All I can see are White Walls, White Light what I wouldnt give for one good night.
Mary Jane! Mary Jane! get your pretty ass in here take this gag of I want to scream. Why cant it be night, someone turn out the light. Mary Jane turn out the light.
Im scared. Im running! Oh God Im running!
Youve abandoned me just like my Mother. I was a fool to trust you I see that now.
Get the hell away from my brain you Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles stay back.
Im running! Help! Damn you! Help!
My mind is Melting! Boiling! Melting!
I am imprisoned in the Four walls. Outer space Inner space there is no difference. The pressure. The wall must hold but the box is,
Blazing! Blaring! Blazing!
Shiny Smiley people judging, Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles waiting.
No choice give in
No! No! Please God let me swallow my tongue. Im paralyzed I cant take it. Im breaking.
Why am I here?
Mary Jane, Mary Jane!
White Walls, White Light why cant I get one good night.
Sterilizing acid burning me clean. It is too bright.
"You will be clean"
Mother! Mother!
You left me at home with the babysitter, now my jailer. Oh how I tried to get away from the ties that ounce again bind and improve my mind but the ghost from my childhood has returned.
Ive found the Brain Police.
This is Hell White Burning! Blinding! Searing Hell.
If I could just close my eyes and die.
This is Hell!
The Shiny Smiley People watch, The Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles wait. I cant take it.
Im sorry I thought that thought. Im sorry I read that book. Im sorry I brought that album .I give up
No! I am myself.
Yes! I dont want to be me right now.
"You will change"
No!
"You are ours give in and the pain will stop the doubt the confusion the sadness the depression will melt away for there are warm arms attached these Smiley faces".
The wall! The wall?
I want to be loved there in my brain.
Mary Jane/Mother I want to be loved.
Walls made of Sand crumble into the sea and melt away.
Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles I welcome you now twist me to your designs.
I dont want to hurt any more. I just want to be loved. I just want to sleep. Sleep.
Oblivion is peace.
Copyright ©
PLformalyknownasPpaul
... [
2005-11-07 07:45:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: abstact meditations on free will in a facist culture
(User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 03:51:10 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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...my mouse froze...I'm back...the phrenetic pace is captivating...there is no free will, by the way...it's okay to go on thinking there is...not much changes with the knowledge...phrenetic morphing into manic...if what goes up must come down, how come going down gets away with not coming back up...I was dragged on through the whole of it by your throwing those smiley people and shiney black bugs in every now and then...as the poem progressed and it got freakier and freakier, those little guys actually offered some comfort...they were something familiar anyway...
...it was a gripper...nice job...
enigma |
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