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Finish It
Contributed by
Dying_angel
on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 03:55:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Today I killed my enemy,
Shocking I know
But for so long Ive known
They had to go
By enemy I mean simply
The person I hate the most
Ive hated them for so long
The incident; pre or post
The deserved what they got
Every last drop of blood
That was maybe callously spilt
Felt so good
The idea came to me instantly
In a fit of emotional calm
I left their note
Etched on their own palm
Its incredible that it
Comes out so clear
You read it so well
You neither squint nor peer
If I said they deserved so much attention
Then I would have lied
For I deserved not such a beautiful
.......
Copyright ©
Dying_angel
... [
2005-11-07 15:55:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Finish It
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 04:48:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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interesting write a little lost on the end but other then that good job
r.m.wilder |
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Re: Finish It
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 04:51:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| ooo...good job. I love this poem. I feel a lot like that at times. this is definitly one of the best ones i've read. |
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Re: Finish It
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 10:53:09 PM AEST
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| i liked the rhythm in this. it gives you a very distinct style. as for the ending, i liked how it cut off, very effective. i only have one poem that cuts off out of my 600 or so, and i think every poem should have a centerpiece to separate it from the others, that cut off does it. it also helped that i loved the topic, and also could apply it to other things as well. hrm, life ::shrugs:: |
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Re: Finish It
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kazzy1231 on
Thursday, 10th November 2005 @ 12:57:02 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Nice write,Please check out some of my poems! |
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