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rain and street lights
Contributed by
emokid
on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 08:54:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I just love it when it rains
the water and the lights
distort the street lights
into something more beautiful
just like you
beautiful but distorted
nothing is as it seems
false sense of hope
lulling me to my death
but I wont fall for it
not a second time
you left me for dead
'but death dont want
no sloppy seconds'*
*sage francis a healthy distrust
Copyright ©
emokid
... [
2005-11-23 20:54:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: rain and street lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by Drmbeliever on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 08:58:51 PM AEST
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| hmm...interesting.....hmmm...i dont know what to say. **h&K** |
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Re: rain and street lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 09:02:02 PM AEST
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| interesting write..... |
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Re: rain and street lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by BEBE on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 10:08:51 PM AEST
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how interesting to such a poema s the one you have written, "beautiful but distorted" I love that line, everything is just that!!
Lol Godbless
BEBE |
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Re: rain and street lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by BEBE on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 10:09:42 PM AEST
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| how interseting to read such a poem as* that is what the first line says, lol sry for my bad typing habbits |
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Re: rain and street lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by judasman on
Thursday, 24th November 2005 @ 07:35:18 PM AEST
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| the last line needs to be changed doesn't fit in with the imagery of the other lines. good read up until the last line |
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Re: rain and street lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Wednesday, 4th January 2006 @ 08:52:03 AM AEST
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| intertesting read, agree wiv comment that the last lines dont do it justice :-) |
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