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Slow Tears
Contributed by
charming-lover
on
Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 12:03:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I'll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you're always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don't have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those hazel eyes
Hoping to understand
why you've said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek
Copyright ©
charming-lover
... [
2005-12-04 12:03:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Slow Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 02:29:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very well constructed piece... and the emotions are
wonderfully portrayed. Keep up the fine writing. |
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Re: Slow Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 5th December 2005 @ 07:28:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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An interesting vignette of a stage in a relationship that's not always described in poetry -which is usually the province of relationships beginning or ending. Very simply and convincingly, you have allowed the reader an insight into a maturing relationship at one of its many critical points - when men are fearful of their partner's distress, and where a woman sees some of the cracks in the continuity of a man's facade. I'm giving it a five because it doesn't deserve a 1 - so it should average out.
Spike |
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