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Heart of steel
Contributed by
Poetic_Influence
on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 05:41:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I had a heart of steel Until you broke my trust Then I cried with pain so unreal And the tears made my heart of steel rust If I explained how I now feel And how I look at you with disgust You would then not even understand The emotions And how I look at you as a boy and not a man This rusted heart Busted apart Broken into peices As the pain just increases I dont need this I must cease this You made this fire and all you do is feed it You may sweat for this love but I bleed it I begged and I pleaded The hate was writtin on your face but I could never read it I'm so misleaded I said that I could handle the hurt but the line has been exceeded So its over and done, dont laught because this time I mean it Goodbye No crys Washing away the grey skys Watching them turn blue before my eyes This heart of steel is no longer tarnished with lies
Copyright ©
Poetic_Influence
... [
2005-12-07 17:41:50] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Heart of steel
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 06:01:39 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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WoW this is an excellent and very well penned piece of poetry.
Goodbye
No crys
Washing away the grey skys
Watching them turn blue before my eyes
This heart of steel is no longer tarnished with lies
You go girl. Keep up the fantastic work.
*hugs*
~sue~ |
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Re: Heart of steel
(User Rating: 1 ) by Shmokin on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 07:29:44 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i really enjoyed this poem, can i humbly offer one suggestion,,
And the tears made my heart of steel rust,,,
Salty tears turn my heart of steel to rust
nice peice :-) |
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Re: Heart of steel
(User Rating: 1 ) by waos on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 07:43:09 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This rocked... (aren't crys and skys spelled cries/skies though?)
But yeah that is beside the point. I think you did just an amazing job
here... the word choice to make it flow so beautifully... kept
me totally captivated. My favorite lines...
"And the tears made my heart of steel rust"
and
"You made this fire and all you do is feed it
You may sweat for this love but I bleed it
I begged and I pleaded"
Loved it.
Awesome job.
~Kara~~Waos~ |
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