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Empty whispers
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Monday, 12th December 2005 @ 08:59:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
The colour of anger,
Dribbles out through whispers,
And weeping,
Painting the sky an empty grey,
The reflection of me, now.
But the mirror,
Is smeared and dirtied,
Disguised with feeling;
The sillhouette,
Of what I have become.
(These empty whispers echo,
Through the spaces,
In between the places,
Where the trees reach the sky.
And I can see myself in the shadows.
That the grey hides.)
I'd gather up smiles,
Like daisies on a field,
And weave them into chains,
If I could.
But the flowers just wither,
And chains rust and break,
And --
Smiles won't do any good.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-12-12 20:59:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jyssvw on
Monday, 12th December 2005 @ 09:06:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i think i undersatnd. and i know i like it,
very nice wirte |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th December 2005 @ 01:35:00 AM AEST
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Aw, Philly...that's sad.
*huge hug*
Yes, sad, but you write soooo beautifully.
Your talent and inspiration glow with every word.
Awesome write my friend!
Tim
:-) |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 13th December 2005 @ 01:53:12 AM AEST
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Well very deep write.
I think we all can relate many times over.
A masterpeice.
huggs, luv, prayer,
emy |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th December 2005 @ 07:52:08 AM AEST
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You have created a unique and original piece here with such visual lines , gosh you get better at this with each posting....so much feeling in this as well.
I am so proud of you lil sis!
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 13th December 2005 @ 12:07:20 PM AEST
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This is very good Philly...Sadly emotive, but filled with wonderful imagery nonetheless. I really like the second, and last stanzas. Well done. Hang in there...
Scorp. |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th December 2005 @ 01:36:28 PM AEST
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a glimps of hoplesness tainted with a moment of thruth this poem is abrasively beautiful, brilliant phil, it has just the right amount of everything and not 2 much of nothing, and realy kept tugging at me as i got 2 the end with anticipation, as usual another
gem amidst your poetic treasures . . .
((((Phil))))
Ben |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 12:49:45 PM AEST
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A powerful write, with very effective imagery. It feels sort of sad and forlorn. Withholding a lot of anger, but not successfully expelling it. So even stalwart efforts...... smiles "won' t do any good"..."The gray that hide",,, is another powerful image.
Very well done, Philly. It feels that you are depicting a situation where the person does not feel empowered.
Will |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 09:54:10 PM AEST
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Sweetie, I LOVE this piece. It's so beautifully woven. Even through
the sadness it moves me deeply. I love the imagery and your
amazing word choices. Your writes are always such a pleasure.
The second stanza is truly outstanding. It conjures an almost
hopeless feeling. Brilliant work Phillygirl. Be proud !!
~Breezy |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jen54 on
Tuesday, 20th December 2005 @ 06:02:32 PM AEST
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What a sad poem but I love it. It envokes so much emotion in me. Keep up the wonderful writing.
-Jen |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 08:19:11 PM AEST
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So powerfully written, the depth of emotion is just stunning. I hope things do better for you, and that writing will be there for you through the hard times.
God bless.
Andrew |
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Re: Empty whispers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on
Sunday, 25th December 2005 @ 07:29:14 PM AEST
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I love my sorrow
I like your write
I feel................
Well
Done |
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