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How Does It Feel?
Contributed by
MG_Akela22090
on
Sunday, 18th December 2005 @ 08:04:18 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
There are some things that will never go away. That night my wrists bled, Ill never forget it. It haunts me, and now I wonder if I can redeem myself.
Im so sorry, Im regretting everything. Im so sorry I let you all down. Im so sorry, can you ever forgive me?
All those words you yell at me
*****!
Quit hating yourself!
Just stop!
How does it feel?
It feels like pain. It feels like the floor has vanished. It feels like Im dying, but I never wake up.
How does it feel?
It feels like everyone is leaving again.
I cant stop crying. The tears keep coming. My weakness is I cant handle knowing Ive hurt everyone whos ever loved me. Ive pushed everything good away.
How does it feel?
It feels like Ive lost everything.
Staring down at my blood I know the pain is real. But where does the fantasy end?
I can feel you, but I cant feel myself. When you scream at me, I feel your pain and not my own.
When does my life come back?
All those words you say are killing me. Am I really that horrible? What have I done?
I stare up into the sky and down at the scars on my wrists. When did I lose it all?
How does it feel?
It feels like death.
When I stared down the barrel of a gun wishing for a bullet, I didnt feel anything, but when you called me a *****, I felt that like a stab in my gut.
Just stop! You scream.
Stop being a *****!
Stop doing that!
Ill leave you if you dont
You mean nothing
And I cry! I cry. You couldnt have hurt me more if you had beaten me.
How does it feel?
It feels like putting that gun to your head. It feels like watching a man die for no reason leaving a broken family behind for ruin.
It feels like your hands strangling the life from me. It feels like the darkness taking over.
The voice is constricted in my throat, I want to scream but Im bleeding instead.
Youre the only one who can save me. Take all this pain away!
Im standing here tears streaming down my body to mix with my blood.
I love you; Im not going to give up. Im going to live for you
Why cant you live for me?
How does it feel?
It feels like everyday of the last fifteen years
Ive followed everyone. Ive stayed back and enjoyed the ride and here I am regretting doing that.
Why cant you follow me? Why cant you put your life in my hands? Let me lead you. Why cant you trust me to take you away form all this?
How does it feel?
It feels like I am alone.
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
HOW DOES IT ***** FEEL?
It feels like watching my life on television screen, you cant change anything that happens on the other side because its already happened.
Its just a re-run.
How does it feel?
It feels like nothing.
How does it feel to you? Because everytime you scream at me I get farther away. How long will it be until I finally disappear?
I'm beaten down. I got no more life to give. I want to write more, but my hand is tired from the repeated beatings with a knife. Just know that you've given me everything, but you've taken it all away to.
How does it feel now?-
Copyright ©
MG_Akela22090
... [
2005-12-18 08:04:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: How Does It Feel?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jen54 on
Sunday, 18th December 2005 @ 05:05:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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so sad and full of emotion. I can relate to this so much. Dont give up.
-jen |
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Re: How Does It Feel?
(User Rating: 1 )
by BEBE on
Sunday, 18th December 2005 @ 06:47:02 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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wow.... nothing more to say then that.... So emotional, it makes me ffel so much pain.. awsome job..
BEBE |
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