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A Moment of Reflection
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Friday, 23rd December 2005 @ 03:31:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Just like the pollution steals breath from the asthmatic
the actor takes something simple, and makes it dramatic
Erratic.
These flurry of thoughts that keep playing on my mind
sifting through feelings like I'm emotionally blind
Rewind.
Study the good, and bad, reliving moments we never had
All aboard this train of neglect, spreading virus---cause and effect
Regret.
A six lettered alarm, following closely, three worded charms
Keep the sentiments; it still pertains, feed a need that still remains
Stains.
The stubborn residue of an ending gone awry
wipe the tear from the crocodile's painstaking eye
Goodbye.
To who we used to be, hello to who we are
keyed expressions keep track of this back and forth memoir
Spar.
In agreeable fashion, full of zest, but lacks in passion
We ignite creativity, that lends to negativity
Accountability.
Held liable for the goods damaged; illegally packaged
Processed, shipped overseas, but was charged astronomical fees
Displease.
Venus---or as she's otherwise known; fate's lusty deadweight
The assembly line of life, claims yet another soulmate
Dissipate.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-12-23 15:31:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on
Friday, 23rd December 2005 @ 03:45:02 PM AEST
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a great write with alot to chew ty for posting it
r.m.wilder |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 23rd December 2005 @ 06:32:28 PM AEST
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It's necessary, I think, to look back on occasion in order to move forward. I spent a fair amount of time running from the past only to find myself going in circles for having done so. In a funny sort of way, retracing my steps of late has allowed for forward motion. I do hope, Scorpichachitaboo, that it is that way for you. too.
This tugs, pulls, and tears at the reader that has "been there"... (not that it is ever really the same for any two people, but.. yeh). "Regret"... oh it's such an awful word... this write, to me at least, feels like the sort of thing that is necessary to move beyond it. It's a good thing I think - though, hard to write, I'm certain. Nice job, Scopiloo --- and I don't mean just the poem. *wink*
*hugs*
~Snemmy |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Friday, 23rd December 2005 @ 10:30:32 PM AEST
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| love the formating and the words flowed nicely. "In agreeable fashion, full of zest, but lacks in passion" i like this line. reminds me of me. nicely written |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Friday, 23rd December 2005 @ 11:48:44 PM AEST
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Wickedly painful Scorp . . .
a woman scorned
great rhyming scheme, metaphors and the like-
I have missed your work.
I logged on half-thinking to find nothing . . .
but was slapped back into reality with this . . lol
Best wishes to you luv-
hope this finds you well.
B |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Saturday, 24th December 2005 @ 02:09:16 AM AEST
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My dear friend, Scorp. Painfully beautiful. You never ever disappoint ur reader. Outstanding as always. I can so much relate to what you've written. Missed ya girl. I hope things look up for ya Scorp. May u leave 2005 behind and may 2006 be a bright and prosperious year for u. Always in my heart and prayers my dear friend.
Love n hugs,
~sue from across the blue
who so much misses u~ |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 24th December 2005 @ 02:33:52 AM AEST
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(((((((((((((((((((( Scorperiffic ))))))))))))))))))))
It's very hard to add to what everyone else has alrady said.
This is painfully sad...a powerfully sad write. At least what you go through ignites the mind and inspires another masterpiece!
(((((((((( Scorp ))))))))))
You are incredible in so many unique ways!!!!
Tim |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Saturday, 24th December 2005 @ 02:13:45 PM AEST
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If only we could change some of the things we have done in life. I know I would for sure change what happened last Tuesday. There is always another that causing a reaction from you and pushes it till one can take no more. Then the sting in the tail strikes with vengeance
Loved this one Scorp terrific
A very merry xmas to u and urs
Love Angelxx |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 25th December 2005 @ 09:15:57 AM AEST
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Scorp, It's masterful how you set aside the salient elements that you want to communicate...a rather unique and effective technique and form. The poem seems to depict an emotional process that one traverses at different times and places. I think Regret is such a powerful circumstance.... ultimately our life's reflection will entail a sense of fulfillment OR regret and despair.
Powerful write, Scorp
Will |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by solosoul on
Monday, 26th December 2005 @ 11:26:01 AM AEST
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| im still gathering all of that but its one of those that i know there is something in there for me ! nice write ! |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by MrJeans on
Monday, 26th December 2005 @ 01:35:45 PM AEST
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Like the format here
Painful ending but done well
Alot going on in this one
Keep up the good work!
Mr. |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th December 2005 @ 02:16:05 PM AEST
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Haven't necessarily been around a lot but I've missed it - your writing. You always seem to capture feelings, moments and make it beautiful even though, it almost seeps pain. Reflection can bring us to tears, it can bring us pain, but the memories that tug at the corner of your lips, making you smile or laugh - those are the moments we have to remember. From knowing you for just a short time, it looks like you've risen above all those moments that have caused pain and sadness for you, which is awesome, but when you can look back on something that caused you exactly that - pain, and write something as beautiful as this scorpz, that's special. Another great write.
Just remember, stay over it, rise above it, and stay up high, cause you're better than all the pain and bad memories. Can't wait for you to find someone that will let you write equally as beautiful writes - just happier lol, one day scorpz, he's lookin for ya.
-Cassy |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by LostAmbition on
Monday, 26th December 2005 @ 11:26:17 PM AEST
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Woah!
Get off that train scorps!!!!
Written so greatly love it
This will probably sound nuts
but it sounds like its about
another poet??????
Hope it all works out
Best wishes scorp have a
good new year:) |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Tuesday, 27th December 2005 @ 04:23:58 PM AEST
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This is an awesome beautiful poem. I can relate to it.
Take care.
Scott |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alibi on
Wednesday, 28th December 2005 @ 10:47:12 AM AEST
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Very good style you've written this with Scorpy. It makes the expression that much more powerful. I know these "moments of reflection" and it can be quite painful. Feel better soon love.
Hugs. |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 9th January 2006 @ 06:29:35 AM AEST
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Your pen packs remarkable power.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th January 2006 @ 10:43:52 AM AEST
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Yep,that's just about it for most....though I might add, superbly written.
'Venus...or as she's otherwise known; fate's lusty deadweight'...I just love that line..beautiful cynicism. |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 12th June 2006 @ 05:06:26 PM AEST
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That line "Reliving Moments We Never Had " u ready 4 this scorp? it made me wanna do a cowrite with u, how tottaly inspiering that line was. Scorp u r Iconic as a poet and priceless, as a friend. What a peice of art work u present everytime 2 us most fortunate readers. Excellant work lady. **********
((((Scorp))))
Ben |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 4th December 2014 @ 04:55:02 PM AEST
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love how you wrote this, excellent imagery and a
powerful emotional pop straight to the heart.........
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: A Moment of Reflection
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Tuesday, 27th October 2020 @ 01:47:07 AM AEST
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Wonderful... You really found your groove here. You really perfected your poetry over the years. You have really blossomed.
I/'/m happy and proud of your achievement/'/s.
Respectfully so....
Jim |
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