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Blunt, Forced Trauma
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Friday, 30th December 2005 @ 09:10:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Knife wounds
Madness looms
Cries heard
Pain served
Noisy room
Certain doom
Needles, tubes
No one knew
They cant - fix - that
(Suspect
unmasked)
* * *
Hammer down
Target found
Heavy thud
More blood
Splintered bone
Loud moans
Bleeding out
No doubt
He cant be saved
(Suspect
grave)
* * *
Gun shot
Battle fought
Searing pain
Little gained
Spattered walls
Crowded halls
Blood soaked
White coats
Its all for naughti
(Suspect
lost)
* * *
Poets pen
Now descends
Another wound
Found soon
Cracked chest
Bloody mess
Within set
Words, yet
They cant be - read
(Suspect
dead)
* * *
At approximately 8:15 this evening,
an unidentified body was discovered in an alley behind the Court House.
It is unclear, at this time, what happened.
The police stated only...
The investigation is ongoing.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-12-30 21:10:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Blunt, Forced Trauma
(User Rating: 1 )
by fake_emptyness on
Friday, 30th December 2005 @ 09:42:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| its......its...almost arrousing...to my saspcion....yeah.. i love it. i love this piece. |
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Re: Blunt, Forced Trauma
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Friday, 30th December 2005 @ 09:51:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
The pain is as deep and cutting into the mind and heart in words as it is in real life. Having lost two friends to the 'bad guys' in the last two months, I can assure you, this is very much like it truly is in the trauma room. The real trauma comes later when the shock wears off. Then you know real pain and loss.
 |
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Re: Blunt, Forced Trauma
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 30th December 2005 @ 10:13:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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ohhhh this gave me incredible chills.
Very realistic and very sad
Michelle |
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Re: Blunt, Forced Trauma
(User Rating: 1 )
by HatchetGirl on
Friday, 30th December 2005 @ 10:40:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| it is amazing... as I read it, it made my heart start to race... which eventually lead to a panic attack.... I didn't know that could happen from words written on a page. |
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Re: Blunt, Forced Trauma
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 31st December 2005 @ 11:37:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
The short lines just speds this along, yet this is not without your usual depth, one can't help but wonder what other wounds you may be refering to...
A bit of a diffrent format for you, I always enjoy it when you stretch your wings. |
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Re: Blunt, Forced Trauma
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 31st December 2005 @ 06:36:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Hmmmmm....the realism here is amazing! Talk about awesome imagery. It was like watching an episode of.....h....I really don't know. It's just so real!
An awesome job Snemmers. It's about all I can say...awesome and real....and scary. A very hardcore look into real life!
Thanks,
Tim
:-) |
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Re: Blunt, Forced Trauma
(User Rating: 1 )
by BSteel on
Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 02:48:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
wow, pretty powerful nice flow,
'very descriptive, i enjoyed it,
sincerly,
Bsteel |
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