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Bath of self-destruction
Contributed by
crow6279
on
Monday, 2nd January 2006 @ 03:20:26 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Steam coats the mirror...bringing blessed self-distortion
drips from the faucet echo silent in my head
Flames from the candles adding smoke to the illusion
reality is vanquished...replaced by welcome dread
Stripping off my skin...to bask inside my sorrow
bathe myself with visions of decisions I have made
Contemplating life...and death...both neverending
admitting to the sins for which I've never really paid
Aching to the bone...I wash the scars of living
see them turning red as I remember how they came
Some were quite by chance...others self-inflicted
always wanting more like it was just a simple game
Acknowledging the past...how I've scarred so many others
never really caring they would live with them for life
So heartless and so selfish...my past is still the present
feeding in the frenzy that can only bring me strife
When I reach inside...the wounds are fresh and weeping
rubbing them so raw that they bleed into my veins
Pulling off the scabs from the ones that started healing
tears roll down my face...in despair that never wanes
I long to feel the pain...to taste my own corruption
bitter and enticing...there's so much it never ends
Lowering myself into the bath of self-destruction
close my eyes and see that I can never make amends
I feel it flowing freely...mixing gently with the waters
candle wax is running down the sides in bloody trails
My breath is getting weaker...and weaker by the moment
reality is dimming...now replaced by shadowed veils
And so I breathe my last as my head slips underwater
ignoring all the pleas as my body fights my soul
Deep inside the darkness...I succumb to my desire
numbing and delicious...my future pays the toll
That was how they found me...face down below the water
Some of them were crying...while others were just scared
I heard one of them laugh...and say that it was fitting
a smile came to my face...I always knew nobody cared
Copyright ©
crow6279
... [
2006-01-02 03:20:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bath of self-destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by SocialMisfit on
Monday, 2nd January 2006 @ 03:23:48 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
this broke my heart, honestly. your emotions here are sincere and powerfull. this was good.
SM |
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Re: Bath of self-destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Monday, 2nd January 2006 @ 08:57:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| v dark, good read :-) |
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Re: Bath of self-destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 2nd January 2006 @ 11:52:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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dark very dark. So very sad what can I do?
Michelle |
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Re: Bath of self-destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by TREBOR on
Monday, 2nd January 2006 @ 12:51:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I am not sure what to say ,this is very heavy
From a critical point of view this is outstancing
From a personal view is almost too much to bear
The energy you have put into writing.pehaps some of that energy you can put into finding someone to talk to , don't know your situation but there are people on this website who care
Get in touch if you want to
Take care
Bob |
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Re: Bath of self-destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Monday, 2nd January 2006 @ 08:24:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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vivid with a good flow...took the reader into the world of anquish...I have known such as you write about and been on the recieving end of those scars...but I also know the past is past and should be left there
Shari |
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Re: Bath of self-destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Tuesday, 3rd January 2006 @ 03:13:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Now this I like. It takes everything I enjoy about your writing, and then takes several steps in the right direction (from a technical standpoint). This reads more smoothly than past writes, while adding the flair of rhyme to your formula.
The amount of progress you've made in such a short time is staggering, and I see no limit to how good you can be (and how good you already are).
BTW, that last stanza--seething with anguish, besprent with emotion--perfect.
Force-fed a cyanide tablet,
-V.S. |
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