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Day to Day. Am I Living?
Contributed by
MajesticPoet
on
Thursday, 5th January 2006 @ 08:57:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
---------_________-----------------
This is all I have to show for it
The last thing I'd say
Shake your head in disgust
and assign the proper blame
After all I put you thru
It's hard to call myself a man
Could be an easy out
But no one else will understand
Why don't you trust me?
Don't misunderstand me
Why don't you trust me?
Am I living day to day?
Out of control
Not retreating by choice
You broke the silence
I don't think I'm confused
Take me as I am
As you remember me to be
Just cos it hurts
Doesn't mean it's bad
Naked on the line
I'm sure that I look fine
Distance lies to us
It's all I need to be
All in all
I could've won the battles
But over all
I gave up on the war
Living day to day
Am I even alive?
Copyright ©
MajesticPoet
... [
2006-01-05 20:57:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Day to Day. Am I Living?
(User Rating: 1 )
by EmpressTayloria on
Thursday, 5th January 2006 @ 09:26:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i took the poem as expressing that you have too many regrets to go on living and therefore have retreated out of life for nothing seems worth it.
i really liked the lines
"Naked on the line
I'm sure i look fine
Distance lies to us"
people really only take things at first glance and don't take the effort to go deeper into it. nice line.
the only thing that caught me off a little bit was the rhyme. it was done very nicely in the first stanza and then you seemed to drop it. perhaps this was intentional, and that's fine if it's part of the poem, i'm just saying it was a little distraction.
nice write though, keep at it.
Loria |
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Re: Day to Day. Am I Living?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Thursday, 5th January 2006 @ 09:37:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I can relate to this, this is a great poem.
Take care.
Scott |
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Re: Day to Day. Am I Living?
(User Rating: 1 )
by crow6279 on
Friday, 6th January 2006 @ 12:43:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| your write seems so much an outpouring and I know where you are coming from. |
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