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Fresh Air
Contributed by
deadheadpoet
on
Friday, 6th January 2006 @ 07:55:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
What the hell?
You're going to stare at me
Whilst my hands tremor and shake?
My mind in what seems a perpetual quake
Sweat profuses from my forehead
Some image I must make
Let me guess...
Never seen anyone have a panic attack?
Do I freak you out?
Am I hard to understand?
Don't be so tough on me
We're all connected on this strange land
You see I have become broken
over and over again
although I may have mended over time
much scar tissue has formed...within
What can be a simple part
of YOUR everyday charade
can often become an overwhelming task
for me to undertake
So don't....don't go
and laugh me away
Don't pat me on my aching head
and try to convince me, I'm okay
I am having an attack
of some trippy anxiety, man
brought on by the harsh influences
of this corrupted society
Walk away from me
and the troubles you pretend to see
Don't stare at me, man
Keep your distance
I just need some fresh air to..
BREATHE.
Laura Horner
Penned 1-3-06
Copyright ©
deadheadpoet
... [
2006-01-06 19:55:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fresh Air
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on
Friday, 6th January 2006 @ 08:07:19 PM AEST
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i understand completelt great write
r.m.wilder |
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Re: Fresh Air
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 7th January 2006 @ 12:33:40 AM AEST
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Who eva that's trying to tell u that u r o.k. apparently has never had one and any anxiety attack shouldn't just be blown off.
About this time last year I flatlined in the ambulence due to an anxiety attack. Thank God for the attendent and driver of the amubulence. It was a christian ambulence servie but I didn't know that. I know that prayer certainly got me thru and the skilled hands of the attendent. So I can certainly relate.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Fresh Air
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 7th January 2006 @ 01:07:40 AM AEST
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Well, yes, I have definitely had an anxiety attack or three...but definitely one I know of...the first one for sure and wow, yes, I can definitely relate. All I can really say at the moment is wow! You did perfect! Really! This is perfect.
Thank you,
Tim
:-) |
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Re: Fresh Air
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 7th January 2006 @ 01:59:56 PM AEST
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Well, personally I've never had an anxiety attack, but I liked the way you wrote this. You're on the defensive the entire write, and it was nice to see what words you chose to use a times
What can be a simple part
of YOUR everyday charade
can often become an overwhelming task
for me to undertake
I enjoyed these lines the best, as there was something really poetic to them. Great piece |
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Re: Fresh Air
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 7th January 2006 @ 09:35:43 PM AEST
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Right 2 the point and honest right on sister
laura, let it be known u r a child of the of enviorment and keeper of the earth, lovely writting as alway's pure and delicate . . .
peace 2 u my sister
Ben |
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Re: Fresh Air
(User Rating: 1 )
by memyselfandi on
Sunday, 8th January 2006 @ 03:15:52 AM AEST
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| I really like this one it almost has a frantic rhythm to it, it really moves the poem along and takes you into the emotion. Nice job. |
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Re: Fresh Air
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Tuesday, 10th January 2006 @ 04:02:33 AM AEST
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Very nice, with a jagged edge that is totally smoothed out with the final instruction. Having had my share of attacks, I can say that you captured the moment well. hard topic, good write.
Spike |
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Re: Fresh Air
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 6th March 2006 @ 07:31:26 PM AEST
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Oh, man. I totally relate to this poem. My favorite part was this:
"What can be a simple part
of YOUR everyday charade
can often become an overwhelming task
for me to undertake"
I feel like screaming this at people sometimes. Anxiety attacks kick my ass. I give you respect. If you're bored, feel free to check me out at:
http://www.myspace.com/kellymagovern
I love creative people. Later. |
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