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a single tear
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Tuesday, 17th January 2006 @ 02:51:39 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
a mass of signals corrupt and frayed
a network crash is all i display
harvesting lost synapses a mingled of short
mind like a judge confused in lost court
back water thoughts fogging my view
ignorant in belief i dont belive anything new
found the lost key to unlocking the mind
dead in my view i seek the true line
blind and numb i follow my way
coloured in scabs itchy in my day
dogleashed and smacked with paper in hand
in the house chained to the land
a misguided dialect mumbled and scorn
my flesh like paper easly torn
eyes like flawed sapphire lost in there bright
cold as the snow and vision like the night
what is this process what can i do
how can i tell the world is failing true
like a cry of freedom we all think its hot
forgetting the beliefs we bleed and fought
alas my vision is coming in clear
the fog washed away with a single tear
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2006-01-17 14:51:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: a single tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by ButchHoward on
Tuesday, 17th January 2006 @ 03:04:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice job on this dark poem. Very powerful imagery! I especially like the line: "eyes like flawed sapphire lost in there bright"
Butch
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Re: a single tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Tuesday, 17th January 2006 @ 03:14:03 PM AEST
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well written strong
NS |
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Re: a single tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 17th January 2006 @ 03:48:12 PM AEST
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Reagan a thought provoking and very well penned poem. You've done an excellent job on this one. Well done my friend.
*warm hugs*
~sue~ |
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Re: a single tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Tuesday, 17th January 2006 @ 04:21:40 PM AEST
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great piece! it's jam packed with thoughtful imagery,
rhyme and rythmn too.
"alas my vision is coming in clear
the fog washed away with a single tear"
the entire piece was great but the ending was
definitely the strongest
keep it up |
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Re: a single tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 17th January 2006 @ 10:17:13 PM AEST
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| That was good man....really good. Many lines here that smacked me hard. Quite enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing. Peace to you, Laura |
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