|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Incomplete
Contributed by
drapes
on
Friday, 20th January 2006 @ 05:39:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
It's been 16 months, 12 days and 21 hours since I last saw you.
You were like the roof over my head I didn't apprecieate until the storm hit.
You were like a childs tooth hanging by a thread. What a surprise it was when he bit into that apple.
You jumped in and out of the shadows like the silent black cat.
You flickered like a candle getting drowned by its own wax.
Your eyes closed like the velvet maroon curtains after the final act.
You set like the sun but never rose again.
Your absence gave a reason to anticipate the future.
But with your non existance there is no future.
After that final night, one less star in the sky of a million and one
But not just one sparkle was gone, all had vanished from my former eager eyes.
Every deck of cards I use contains only 51.
My dozen has only 11.
Only 49 states in my union.
Only 25 letters in my alphabet.
My thousand piece puzzle has only 999 pieces.
Incomplete and useless...
It's been 1 year, 4 months, 12 days, and 21 hours since I last saw you.
Forever 'til I see you again.
Copyright ©
drapes
... [
2006-01-20 17:39:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Incomplete
(User Rating: 1 )
by SmileSkinDeep on
Friday, 20th January 2006 @ 05:59:25 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| its a good poem, but perhaps you could change the "16 months 12 days..." and the "1 year, 4 months..." or you could keep it to express how you feel, or repalce it with something of equal expression. other than that, its really great and i can see the heartbreak. |
|
|
Re: Incomplete
(User Rating: 1 )
by Drapes on
Friday, 20th January 2006 @ 08:45:10 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| That's what I was thinking, that the "1 year..." thing doesn't really fit in with the rest of the poem. Like the mood is different. I like that part though, but maybe I should write a different poem with it. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
