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Crematorium
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 07:51:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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Tortured tomorrows bleed into endless yesterdays Eons collapse into an eternity As thorns rip at my flesh Like poison corroding my veins Storm clouds gather as I softly wither Rain is falling endlessly from a black void Empty eyes staring as unseen talons spread Succumbing to a wintry coldness Crimson dripping as reality beckons Partaking in archaic communion Fingers stricken by plague claw cadaverously Sweetened wine burns my throat Like the aching nothingness That fills endless, aflame deserts Face turned to a burning forest Hands left outstreched in fruitless prayer Even as skin sloughs off Dressed in ashes like hope never was Discordant weeping like clouds of grey Frozen in timeless mists Playing my final symphony My wrist the never ending solo...
[And if I've tried so hard Then why is it never enough?]
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2006-02-05 19:51:35] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 09:12:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow! Definitely a keeper in my book. nice write. ^^ |
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Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 09:28:57 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A very dark and potent work! I enjoyed your patterns and the way this flowed. I do, however hope that the symphony does stop for you. Pain is a wondeful muse that opens up hidden doors of elegant, dark, and mysterious metaphors and analogies. Pain, however is always a one sided and very selfish muse. GREAT JOB! I hope all is well. |
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Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 6th February 2006 @ 12:07:55 AM AEST (User
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Well my dear friend this was well worth the wait. I'm glad to see that u posted it. I'd pick out my favourite verse, but I simply can't cos it's so perfectly penned from start to finish. It's captivating, powerful,dark and brilliantly written. I'm a real fan of ur poetry Joel. May ur pen always flow fluently with such remarkable poetic verses. Enjoyable and well worth the read as always. Keep it up my dear friend.
*warm hugs*
~sue~
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Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 ) by SensitiveSoAbused on
Tuesday, 7th February 2006 @ 08:34:32 PM AEST (User
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This was very well written, my dear friend. I pictured it nicely!
I think it is the best up to and including the line about archaic communtio.
I love the lines about the burning forest, and the ashes.
And these lines:
Playing my final symphony
My wrist the never ending solo...
are just superb! I think they would suffice as a perfect ending.
*claps you on the back all chummy-like*
good good! |
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Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 ) by Broken-Suicide on
Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 01:54:34 AM AEST (User
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Nothing will ever be enough |
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