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You just left...
Contributed by
holderofthestone
on
Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 09:06:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Stiffening fingers
Grip softly the trigger of my release
Leaving behind the anger
The misery of being me
A failed attempt at happiness
Dragging blades of misery with me
Endangering those around me
Making them hate
The life they have sworn too
The promises they made
The tell tale heart makes no mistakes
Leaving the wounded behind to rot
No worries of the others
Just caring of ones self
Preservation of ones own
No worries of commitments
Or words promised to another
Leaving those we care about
To stray and fail
While we gain ground with no responsibilities
Leaving past engagements
And past responsibilities
So we can have a fun time
To swing wildly in the sun and enjoy new things
While the debts we made and promises
Collect through the sadness
To add to the misery of those we no longer care for
Burying the ones we made our way through life with
And watching them from afar
To struggle
To fail
To fall apart
And not caring
Because we are not there and we dont care
To see the misery and watch
And laugh the night away
With new found friends and family
Not caring how we stray
And watching others flop
Into the early grave that comes with time
And timely failures lead to happiness
Of one of the two so thats all that matters
You smile and laugh
And have a ball
And wear new lies and smiles of tenderness
And yet you dont care
So one fails and loses,
All that mattered.
To him to her
Theres nothing left
Just misery and sadness
And hopes smashed upon the rocks
When ships stray lazily
And crash to their demise
The boom cries through the night to those
Who care to hear the death of one
No more longing for the unobtainable
Or wanting what cant be had.
The flowing life slips out of holes
And floods the time of nothing
The floor is slick with worthlessness
And no one seems to care
Theres nothing here
Nothing
That you should think of now
Leave it all behind
And enjoy your NEW life
If you cared you would have tried
and work things out with me...
But you didnt
You just left
Copyright ©
holderofthestone
... [
2006-02-18 21:06:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: You just left...
(User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on
Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 10:25:57 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow... that's really all i can say at this point. That was an amazing poem. So confusing at times, yet...well, it was mysterious, and that's what i love most about it.
really great job
~natalya |
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Re: You just left...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 11:58:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Hope you can feel love and happiness again |
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Re: You just left...
(User Rating: 1 )
by OzChick on
Sunday, 19th February 2006 @ 12:12:31 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I can feel the anger, bitterness, grief and sadness in this poem.
Very well written you have captured the feeling of abandonment and rejection.
Great imagery.
~Jenny~
(If this is based on reality in your life then I hope things pick up for you, stay strong. If not then please ignore these brackets.) |
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Re: You just left...
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovebug on
Thursday, 23rd February 2006 @ 07:08:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i am really sorry but this poem made no sense but i give you an A for affort |
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Re: You just left...
(User Rating: 1 )
by thesinner on
Tuesday, 28th February 2006 @ 06:31:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| your pain is laid bare. Straight from the heart. I felt it through the words. Great work! |
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Re: You just left...
(User Rating: 1 )
by rugby_player on
Friday, 3rd March 2006 @ 08:54:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| good job man...i have always enjoyed your work and this one was no different it showed your pain and you expressed pretty well in my opinion.....stay strong |
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