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my poem fight.
Contributed by
butterflygirl40
on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 10:41:17 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
We had another one of our fights and it lasted to daylight.
I cried so much it hurt my eyesight.
You told me to go get the spotlight so you could see the dogfight.
It excite you to see the dogfight.
Then you shot out the streetlight after the dogfight.
I went inside to get me a glass of sprite while you were watching the dogfight.
Then you wanted us to have another fistfight like the one last night.
But I told you upright No!.
Because I felt like I was living in a twilight show.
You always make me feel uptight about the gunfight and the dogfight.
I Saw your handwrite and your weeknights with the gunfight.
Your height and your life is like a invite to a twilight zone.
I just can't take it anymore so I gave you a handwrite and I gave you a final goodnight show.
Copyright ©
butterflygirl40
... [
2006-02-25 10:41:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: my poem fight.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 01:59:54 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I dont see nothing wrong with this poem
that i wrote . I havent got no comments on
this poem. |
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Re: my poem fight.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 04:25:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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whether you get another comment outside of me
I enjoyed it. Keep writing, your jouney is worth well reading. If no one critiques you, fine.. you wrote it, you enjoyed writing it, and I enjoyed reading it.
Take what benefits you, but never, ever give up.
I enjoy reading all poetry. In my mind and heart, poems are all masterpieces.
Good for you, glad you left that tangle..effective use of imagery in this poem..
raquelLeah
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