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Santa Claus kicked my ***
Contributed by
randyjohnson
on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 03:24:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
I was bitter at Santa Claus because of something he didn't bring me when I was a kid.
I decided to get revenge but now I regret what I did.
When I was eight, I sent Santa a letter to the North pole.
I asked for a bicycle but I got a lump of coal.
Santa brought me coal because that year I was bad.
When he didn't bring me a new bicycle, I was very mad.
I waited until I was all grown up to fight Kris Kringle.
He knocked my teeth down my throat and that's why I'm still single.
When he came down the chimney, I was waiting for him.
I would've hid under the bed had I known he'd win.
I punched him in his stomach and it shook like a bowl full of jelly.
This guy needed a bath because he was really smelly.
I punched him in the eye and then I socked him in the nose.
I wouldn't have fought him if I would've known he would retaliate with such hard blows.
Santa was so mad, he started having a fit.
He grabbed a paper weight and hit me in the head with it.
After he beat the crap out of me, he tore off part of my leg.
Now I'm like a pirate because I walk on a peg.
I learned a valuable lesson when Santa broke every bone in my body.
Before I fought old Saint Nick, I should've learned karate.
Copyright ©
randyjohnson
... [
2006-02-25 15:24:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Santa Claus kicked my ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 03:36:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Laughing here... choked on my own spit lol. Randy this is funny..
I am very glad I left him alone, and punched the wall,
For when I was age 12, I never received my new doll.
Usually to get a good pick me up, I head for the jokes section lol.. thank you for making my afternoon a very pleasant one..
raquelLeah |
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Re: Santa Claus kicked my ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Inevitable on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 05:10:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I liked it. Had good rhyming technique |
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Re: Santa Claus kicked my ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 07:40:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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nice flow and a good chuckle, thanks
NS |
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Re: Santa Claus kicked my ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by rugby_player on
Friday, 3rd March 2006 @ 08:59:42 PM AEST
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| got a good little laugh out of me...good job man its hard to make me laugh |
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Re: Santa Claus kicked my ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 7th March 2006 @ 10:39:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Dang, man. You write some funny stuff. I love this poem. I practice martial arts myself, so I bet I could give Santa a good beatdown. HAHA! I'll triangle choke him! ;) Good stuff, man. |
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Re: Santa Claus kicked my ***
(User Rating: 1 )
by brokenwings on
Thursday, 16th March 2006 @ 03:48:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| lmao..this was funny.. |
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