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The Trick
Contributed by
BSteel
on
Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 08:00:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
The trick
Never have I felt so mortal,
Grounded, pounded, in the course of events,
All I leave behind is wreckage, my rhetoric so far from heaven sent,
It makes me sick, feel like a fallen prophet, a cope out,
All my decisions are but a trick,
To trick myself that I have an immortal destiny,
Regardless of immediate consequence,
That my brain permeates messages,
Reason somehow floats to the surface like dead fishes,
It presents itself in its muddled form,
Tired, Forlorn though I feel mortal,
I escape to my words that echo internal,
Dragging reason by its torso,
I shake it till something sparks,
A subconscious explosion,
Forget all I said before,
I feel immortal once more.
Copyright ©
BSteel
... [
2006-02-26 20:00:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Trick
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ineedanap on
Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 08:28:31 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| Good write but your wording needs a bit of help. The message is great but the poem seems to be a bit choopy. If you worked on it a bit more it would be a truly wonderful and extremely powerful poem. |
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