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untitled
Contributed by
NoSaint
on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 02:08:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
Streams of moonlight
Through dusty panes
Leaves an eerie glow
On sheets blood stains
Love gone wrong
Or so the storys told
A tale as torrid
As it is old
His love was strong
He stood brave and tall
She sold her body
To one and all
He told her he loved her
Thought he could save
She scoffed at him
Sent him to his grave
He found her there
In seedy motel
Arguing with her
His heart felt like hell
Her pimp walked in
On a rampage came
She laughed at him
Saying he was a shame
The two men fought
Till the pimps knife
Took away his steam
Took away his life
She still walks the streets
Selling her wears
Taking drugs to allay
Her deepest fears
Only in the darkest hours
Does she think of him
And then heroin
Helps make the memory dim
Copyright ©
NoSaint
... [
2006-03-01 14:08:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 02:15:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a tale so very real. Nicely done.
Michelle |
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Re: untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 04:38:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow... good write my friend.... such a common situation...
Jenni |
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Re: untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 07:17:56 PM AEST
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| Unfortunately, this all to true, many times over. Great write.....Mike |
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Re: untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 08:28:38 AM AEST
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As tragic as this write is you have accomplished one of my favorite things to see in any form of writing. You made the romantic look like the fool.
There is nothing more romantic than a fool. Someone who thinks they can change someone, help someone, save someone, and would stop at nothing to do it. At the same time that person loses themselves in the idea of being a hero, that they wind up doing it for nothing in return, and do not even gain the accomplishment of saving the person they love.
That is romance to the very bones. There is nothing more universally understood than the role of the romantic fool. Never has there been a more romantic character than the fool. If ever anyone has had a privilege to be the fool, then they have really lived. But if you have ever been loved by a fool then you have made it to that great pantheon of romance. You have danced with sordid angels and have felt the closest thing a human can feel to flying beyond the barriers of known flight.
A great write. If it were not such a brilliant topic and if it were not for your skills I would say that it was too modern in wording for my taste. But that does not even apply to you. An urban love story here still captures that classic love feel. A real triumph!
SUPERB!
- SCM |
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Re: untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 6th March 2006 @ 09:24:47 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow very well done. This was really good. Thanks for sharing. |
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