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Cut
Contributed by
LiFe_oF_a_SuIcIdAl
on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 02:50:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Cut
As I lay me down to sleep
I think of you and start to weep
I take the knife and start to look
Since the first cut I have been hooked
The blood drips down on my bed
I wished right then that I'd be dead
My eyes then fill up with tears
All these years were nightmares
I hate this world it is so cruel
All this time I was the fool
I let you take over me
Why oh why couldn't you let me be
I thought that I was one of a kind
Until you took over me and my mind
A lot of people know who you are
You made that boy drink and crash his car
You put me down to the lowest level
We all know that you're the devil
That night in bed as I laid
All I did was pray and pray
God forgave me and I knew it was true
You are so selfish and no one deserves you
I may have cut more than seven
But God promised me a place in Heaven
Copyright ©
LiFe_oF_a_SuIcIdAl
... [
2006-03-02 14:50:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by flamingblade on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 03:21:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
this is a good wrie
very deep
doesn't need much to make it better
I like it the way it is |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by Brasco on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 03:30:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Poems like these are hard to critique in terms of suggesting how you can make it better because they are born from deep emotion. What you feel is what you write and in most cases the way it comes out is how it should be. I say great job! |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by dougnut on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 05:54:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Very heartfelt discriptive poem of how your feeling
No changes neccersary in my opinion
Brave write
Praying for you also . God Bless you.
Dougnut |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by broken_cookie on
Wednesday, 29th March 2006 @ 10:18:50 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this is a really good write! i love it! keep it up! adios! |
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