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Cut
Contributed by
LiFe_oF_a_SuIcIdAl
on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 02:50:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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Cut As I lay me down to sleep I think of you and start to weep I take the knife and start to look Since the first cut I have been hooked The blood drips down on my bed I wished right then that I'd be dead My eyes then fill up with tears All these years were nightmares I hate this world it is so cruel All this time I was the fool I let you take over me Why oh why couldn't you let me be I thought that I was one of a kind Until you took over me and my mind A lot of people know who you are You made that boy drink and crash his car You put me down to the lowest level We all know that you're the devil That night in bed as I laid All I did was pray and pray God forgave me and I knew it was true You are so selfish and no one deserves you I may have cut more than seven But God promised me a place in Heaven
Copyright ©
LiFe_oF_a_SuIcIdAl
... [
2006-03-02 14:50:21] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 ) by flamingblade on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 03:21:38 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is a good wrie
very deep
doesn't need much to make it better
I like it the way it is |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 ) by Brasco on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 03:30:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Poems like these are hard to critique in terms of suggesting how you can make it better because they are born from deep emotion. What you feel is what you write and in most cases the way it comes out is how it should be. I say great job! |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 ) by dougnut on
Thursday, 2nd March 2006 @ 05:54:20 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very heartfelt discriptive poem of how your feeling
No changes neccersary in my opinion
Brave write
Praying for you also . God Bless you.
Dougnut |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 ) by broken_cookie on
Wednesday, 29th March 2006 @ 10:18:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is a really good write! i love it! keep it up! adios! |
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