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shadows on the wall
Contributed by
socialmisfit
on
Friday, 3rd March 2006 @ 03:07:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Eyes wide shut
fluttering lashes of formless dreams
in the first moments of lucid recognition
Routinely repeating with the flicker of half lit sleep
in drowsy obedience
I dance your marionette waltz
While indifferent streetlamps
Place there eloquent kiss
Upon the endless road of night
Thoughts dispersing in slow
Ethereal glimpse of recognition
Which I can no longer translate
Leaving me wanting to understand
As those who dont have wings
Crave to know the sky
Wanting to grasp for something inaccessible,
Like white noise in silent pauses
But alas I am but the puppet
Not the arbitrator
Willed to dance by
The symphony
Of eternal grace
And perhaps I shall drown
Attempting to fathom the depth
Of a will beyond measure
But this is not a dream,
And so it seems, I do not belong
A secret illumined beyond
Whisper with me
And dance the shadow song
Copyright ©
socialmisfit
... [
2006-03-03 03:07:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: shadows on the wall
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 3rd March 2006 @ 06:36:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I dont think I have ever read anyone describe a shadow or shadows so intricately. A very detailed, visual, and enjoyable write. I loved yoiur metaphors and each line complimented it's bridge to the next and the previous. Well done.
GREAT!
-SCM |
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Re: shadows on the wall
(User Rating: 1 )
by rugby_player on
Friday, 3rd March 2006 @ 09:21:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great write brought images to my mind while i read it..great job keep it up |
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Re: shadows on the wall
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 04:45:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this poem leaves me wanting to read again...
I expecially liked the ending...you have a way with words..........
and a creative imagination
coni |
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Re: shadows on the wall
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 01:27:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a fantastic poem. Some of the metaphor is lost in translation (but hey, This is the pot calling the kettle black) but it really is a fine pice of work. I can't imagine why you didn't put this into separate entries (stanzas). It would have lent the piece so very much, and allowed the different illustrations to contrast with one another. As it stands, it's wonderful.
your welcome,
black. |
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Re: shadows on the wall
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shade on
Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 03:24:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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such depth and imagery! amazing poem. i love it!
The Changing Man |
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Re: shadows on the wall
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lo2681 on
Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 11:20:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very well done. I could picture the shadows as I read. I like this poem a lot. Keep it up. You are talented.
~Lo |
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