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Silenced to Dust
Contributed by
Shadow
on
Thursday, 23rd March 2006 @ 10:32:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
On death I stand, at decay I stare
Fleshless faces that crows have pecked bare
In ash I lay, born from fire and lust
I am a child of tainted dust
Blood drips from me, my eyes are blind
My soul is empty and corrupt is my mind
I came to this world clean of slate
Society damned me to my fate
If man will not love me for what I am
If he truly wishs to damn
Then I draw my sword to reap his foul soul
Let war rain, let the blood flow
To arms o ye men of brittle bone
Come while you may to this land of stone
For soon, too soon it will become a sea
Of fallen children, silenced by me
A child tainted by hate
Damns the world to his fate
Copyright ©
Shadow
... [
2006-03-23 22:32:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Silenced to Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on
Thursday, 23rd March 2006 @ 10:56:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i loved it, very nice, i dont' think it needs anything else.
~natalya |
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Re: Silenced to Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 23rd March 2006 @ 11:07:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! My friend this was friggin
awesome. Full of anger and hate, but most
importantly it was very poetic and well written.
The imagery was just stunning, for example.
"Fleshless faces that crows have pecked bare"
Who could not love that? I also enjoyed the part
about seas of fallen children. This was
awesome was lacking nothing and needs nothing more.
Kudos to you!
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Silenced to Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by Benny14 on
Friday, 24th March 2006 @ 03:14:24 AM AEST
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| 3rd stanza is extremely well written, i liked it very very much |
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Re: Silenced to Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by jonquilcottage on
Friday, 24th March 2006 @ 07:38:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| THIS IS A VERY GOOD POEM AND I DO LIKE IT VERY MUCH. VERY TO THE POINT - JENNYX |
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Re: Silenced to Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by foxfire44 on
Friday, 24th March 2006 @ 07:55:51 PM AEST
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| you are very powerfull with words...what a great pice...keep it up |
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Re: Silenced to Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Sunday, 26th March 2006 @ 04:23:59 PM AEST
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Needs nothing, and the title was brilliant.! I agree totally with all the word you have posted.! Can feel what was written in the words. Keep posting, talent is there.
Brew~ |
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Re: Silenced to Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by no_1nos_me on
Monday, 27th March 2006 @ 06:02:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| That was great |
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Re: Silenced to Dust
(User Rating: 1 )
by ilovelillbj on
Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 12:29:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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ooo deliciously dark!! :p
maybe just lose the 'and' from the second line of the second stanza and work on keeping the timing of the third stanza in with the rest..
however, this really is a great write, by a clearly talented poet!
if you do change it let me know i'd love to read it!
x Sarah x |
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