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A story of pain and addiction
Contributed by
Graham
on
Tuesday, 28th March 2006 @ 02:26:47 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Tell me a story of love and conviction
A story free of pain and addiction
Ill sit here and listen while you talk
Thinking of all the paths that Ive walked
You tell me stories of a girl that is lost
Searching to find herself at all costs
She cannot love like she has before
Thoughts of new love only hurt her more
All she was doing was trying to forget
All her past loves and all her regrets
Pushing away all that she had known
Thinking about how his love had grown
She burst into tears whenever she heard his voice
She knew she needed to make a choice
Between true love with her soul mate
Or being alone and tempting fate
She finally broke down and chose the latter
Because she thought it did not matter
The road Im on may be dark and long,
but in the end, Ill be rich and strong.
She wanted him still to be at her side,
Through darker times to light and guide.
The pain she caused him had been too much,
She pushed him away, and so as such
He moved on to another part of his life
Seven years later he met his wife
Past memories he put behind
But thoughts of the girl still filled his mind
Picked up the bottle, tried to drink her away
In hopes of forgetting her someday
For him that day, it never came
He died alone; she drove him insane.
But for her however, her heart had changed
She finally got her thoughts arranged
She felt his love was all that she had
Life without him was driving her mad
She finally went out to find him again
But all she found was tremendous pain
After searching throughout all the land
She found he had died, bottle in hand.
She knew he had loved her for all of those years
She started to cry millions of tears
She lived alone the rest of her days
So thats my story, What do ya say?
I tightly clenched my jaw and blinked through the tears
Thats the worst story Ive heard in years,
All I wanted was action and glory!
You smiled and said But this is our story
I held you close and softly kissed your lips,
And felt your skin with my fingertips,
Holding you, remembering our past
Soaring through heaven, together at last
Copyright ©
Graham
... [
2006-03-28 02:26:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A story of pain and addiction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Abhisek on
Tuesday, 28th March 2006 @ 03:55:32 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Good Poem. |
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Re: A story of pain and addiction
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Tuesday, 28th March 2006 @ 04:53:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
I GOTTA SAY THAT WAS SO UNIQUE! YOU HAVE A TALENT & I HOPE YOU CARRY ON STRONG OR WEAK! I THINK MANY WILL READ IT JUST LIKE ME! AND THINK THIS PERSON HAS ALOT OF TALENT & LITTLE GREED! I HOPE YOU KEEP ON WRITING & POST EVERY PIECE! BECAUSE YOU HAVE WHAT I CALL SOMETHING SPECIAL LIKE A DREAM!!
P.S. A 5!
DAN!! |
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Re: A story of pain and addiction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 28th March 2006 @ 09:22:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow, this is incredible, very well written. I love the stroy this poem tells, it is bittersweet and sad yet lovely. I can relate alot to it, this is a five star for sure,
LG |
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Re: A story of pain and addiction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hautebush on
Tuesday, 28th March 2006 @ 01:03:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well, Graham. I made my first submissions today also and like you, I would enjoy critiques. You have chosen to tell a story in first person form and have a used a very strict pattern of rhyme. Good for you for sticking with the scheme. Changes I would make: rather than throughout use through, also rather than"I'll be rich and strong" how about, "I will be rich! I will be strong!" This adds same drama and contractions tend to take away from reading aloud. Good luck and keep writing. Hautebush |
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Re: A story of pain and addiction
(User Rating: 1 )
by felicitous on
Wednesday, 29th March 2006 @ 02:17:34 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| hey that was really nice. made me sigh in a good way. cool. |
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