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Trust
Contributed by
xAegisx
on
Monday, 3rd April 2006 @ 09:06:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I loved you
I trusted you
You were my love and life
You broke it
You broke me
You broke the that will take an eternity to fix
My "friend"
I thought we were the best
Now it's broken
Now I hate you
I never wanna see you again
Goobye and
Good luck finding a friend as good as me
Copyright ©
xAegisx
... [
2006-04-03 21:06:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Trust
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 3rd April 2006 @ 10:03:20 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| you tell him/her! i think an exceptionally nice stab to add at the end might be "because none of those exist" might be a good concept to add for a nice finale line, worded however you like of course. the line you have ending now is good though. your repetition is almost over the top in this but it was fine. your relationship with this person seems a bit hazy in this though with references to love and friendship. the reader doesnt know exactly what the boundaries are. youll find that an eternity is a short time, if used. |
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Re: Trust
(User Rating: 1 )
by broken_cookie on
Monday, 3rd April 2006 @ 10:04:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i really like this it reminds me of what me and my "best friend" are going thru! keep it up! byes! |
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