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Draining Away the Pain
Contributed by
lilbabe
on
Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 09:37:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
self-harmpoetry
|
i stand here
hurting badly,hating my life
a tear slides down my face
as a million have before
i look at the reflection
staring at me in the mirror
all i feel is hate,no mercy
i hold the knife at a perfect angle
up against my wrist & breathe deeply
i think back on it all
and i think of how miserable i am
i move the blade swiftly across my wrist
and hundreds of crimson dots slid down my arm
shock hits me, but so does relief
praying for death, i watch my anger
sliding with fury against my pale skin
Copyright ©
lilbabe
... [
2006-04-04 21:37:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Draining Away the Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lady_Daisy on
Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 10:11:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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The poem lacks imagination, especially for a very touchy subject. I know you’re probably a novice. You need to develop your English skills furthermore, so people will respect your work more. The ‘crimson droplets’ or the crimson something a rather is getting too over used. You need to develop your own style, and not care for what anyone else is writing. Writing about self-harm is very difficult, you should try something easier.
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Re: Draining Away the Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by JGB on
Friday, 7th April 2006 @ 04:59:14 PM AEST
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| I feel for you. |
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