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Things to Do Before You Die
Contributed by
xAegisx
on
Monday, 10th April 2006 @ 05:21:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
In this world
Of curves and swirls
There are a few things
Like sing
Sing for the entire crowd
Also dance
Imagine they're in their underpants
Remember to fly
Soar with the clouds up high
Whatever it takes to wake up from the strife
Because my dear it's time to get on with life
Copyright ©
xAegisx
... [
2006-04-10 17:21:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Things to Do Before You Die
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 10th April 2006 @ 11:13:12 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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First of all, the last two lines were quite good and very well written. The rest of it was somewhat random and incoherent. If you organized your thoughts and used more sensory details, this poem would be fantastic. Especially with the ending, which is superb. Keep writing.
~D.S. Hammoulton~
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