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Promise
Contributed by
Michael_Bevins
on
Wednesday, 19th April 2006 @ 03:46:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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We promised today we'd do it no more Hurting yourself is now what I abhor Feelings of love stream through my heart
My soul fills with lust While my skin turns to dust Even on my deathbed I will love you all the same And with that I will never be ashamed
Why can't you see all the good in you? Why must you hate yourself? Put that knife back on the shelf Baby we can get through this together
You and I we make a great team I know sometimes you just want to scream I have my faults but so do you So let's just put them aside and start anew
We know our love is O so true So what is this we're going through? We can make it, it's just a little further
We must set our goal and stick to it Baby I just know we can get through it Feelings of hurt and pain aside Please don't let them run your life
I know you promised you wouldn't do it again But baby I know how hard it is to stop Once you begin I trust you to the fullest
I love you now i'll love you forever Life and death i'll be here for you Waiting and praying for you to be near Longing for the day when we can live happily Once and for all.
Copyright ©
Michael_Bevins
... [
2006-04-19 15:46:59] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by aegurly on
Wednesday, 19th April 2006 @ 06:08:00 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i really liked it!!!
aegurly!!! |
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Re: Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 19th April 2006 @ 06:51:18 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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~*Michael*~
It sounds like ur girl has some personal issues. Stick by her and she shall overcome whatevers keeping her down. All the best to u both.
A very well penned piece of poetry. Well done.
*warm huggers*
~*suzie Q*~ |
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Re: Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by oreo910 on
Wednesday, 19th April 2006 @ 10:29:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I guess the topics good but come on plz I've read better poems of yours! I still loved as usual but come on Mike! U have done way better! But keep going try harder next time with the rhyming thing okay! -l8ter, Arianna |
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Re: Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Monday, 24th April 2006 @ 09:59:30 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is just like the poem you wrote "Stay awhile" it says the same types of things and has the same pattern of speech. While it is good I can only give 4 stars for a repeat as I would expect to get if I used the same lines in a poem. What i am looking for is inspiration. Make the person who reads your poem want to change their life or wish you were speaking to them. If you can do that you will go along way on this site. The first person to make believe is you. What do you want someone to say to you? What do you want to say from the depth of your soul that you would not want to say to anyone else but this person you love. Find the words that say it. Then write it ! Keep working at it and you will do well. |
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