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Golden Cages
Contributed by
EmptyGirl
on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 04:13:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Winters finally gone away
Sounds of spring Ive heard
My spirit longs to fly with you
Like a carefree bird
Dont know how I fell for you
In the midst of all my rages
Hated being what I am
Locked in golden cages
But you never looked at me
And saw a pretty toy
Thats probably why I dream of you
And wake so full of joy
Hiding in the shadows
While all the world finds sleep
I lie awake and have to smile
Because youre mine to keep
In this life of loneliness
My love is all thats true
I couldnt lie, not like that
Never lie to you
You have to know I love you
I know you have to see
That everything about you
Is everything thats me
Your smile is like my own
I know your every part
I see your soul in your eyes
I love your shiny heart
I love your special smell
The way you stand above
How your face always lights
When you whisper of your love
I even love the panic
The way you make me feel
I have to stop and tell myself
That this is all for real
Its so hard to understand
This soft, sweet love for me
Could it be that this is true?
My heart is really free?
Logic was my comfort
But logic is no more
Reasons so unreasonable
When youre walking in the door
I wont do that thing again
My heart under review
Instead Ill cherish what I hold
As long as I hold you
Please dont be afraid, my love
Of all these things Ive said
We can find our happiness
Inside my welcome bed
All Ive said is true, my life
Youre who I adore
And as long as you belong to me
I am also yours
Youve become my saving grace
I your battered dove
You caught this bird in the cage
Of your gilded love
Dont know how our story ends
Those yet unwritten pages
But I know youve set me free
From the golden cages
Copyright ©
EmptyGirl
... [
2006-04-20 04:13:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Golden Cages
(User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 04:51:36 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Though I don’t see any LORD BYRON here all I could see is your style. Well written and perfect execution of simple but very effective words for that. Friend never underestimate your natura ltalents that you have it in you, I strongly feel, you are one good poet in the rising :FRANCO |
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Re: Golden Cages
(User Rating: 1 )
by Brasco on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 02:23:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Your poem flowed smoothly, nice write. |
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Re: Golden Cages
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 02:31:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I am now forbidding you from putting anything in your opening comments about "does this suck?" or "this probably sucks". It is ridiculous and this is why. There are not too many writers on this site who even grace your league as a poet. You have wonderful flow a soaring rhythm and a vocabulary that stings the heart. I think you could write about fecal matter and somehow make it seem beautiful. You are exceptionally gifted and this poem shows it once again. A very, very splendid job.
SUPERIOR!
SCM |
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Re: Golden Cages
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 08:44:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is well done, with some excellent lines. It is a little long for a lyric poem, though, and I think that shows in a couple places. Stanzas 6,7,8 and 10 are a little bit clichéd, as if there was not quite enough to be said to really stretch the full length of them. That at least is my gut feeling from reading. But on the whole, I like it! Keep it up, my friend.
Andrew |
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