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Timeriver
Contributed by
TheSpiritx
on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 11:34:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Bars on the street
Us
windblown, sweeping
and sleeping
and song-dreaming
a song of beauty
grace and beauty
Thoughtcolors in bloom
Green-growth
peaceful blues
red anger hues
in my head
that dreamscape plainly fair
A canvas for hope
portraited despair
Butterflied irony on air
Yellow hesitation
White calm
Flash
Seen on sightedge
A subconscious alert!
Yellow or Red?
Look there!
And I turn
To nothing
My gaze again ahead
Sweet recollection:
We - strolling
In mine her hand
Walking, touching, laughing
Then silent... Now staring...
Quiet, white.
We leaf-drift away, flurried round.
Blowing, these worldly winds,
Over our worldly-weary souls
Stuck in a twilight sadplace
Thoughts an uphill race
To future happiness
I don't push hard
To rescue her from self-sadness,
Announcing only,
"Just let memory wash over you -
Colors and hues...
A quickened rescue" - and then -
"Raindrops on roses
Us both here in poses"
And true -
Bodies dipped in vibrance.
And this deadparty now so.
We retire with "Let's go.."
Alive with the night's
Stillheat lingering in air
Sticking to us, humid,
Visible in her hair
Across the flooded road
A riverfull of faces
leftflowing rightgoing
And us a digressed group
Our path now to tributary -
A bar - a boilerroom
Each person a bubble
Vying for the top of the water
Pop! Pop! And then Pop!
Topside found
Mixing air with air
And again down.
New bubblepeople rise.
With us,
The time, a fly,
Buzzing ever onward
Until its death
My eyes and head sleepheavy, gray
Drop... drop, a nodded conversation
Speaking at a weary traveler,
I talk amongst myself, I and I
and I again
Creep once upwards
Surfacing above this headsea
To say a quick farewell and leave
Back to the wind
That aqua-tinted swiftened
Cunning breeze --
So clever, it.
To push me from her,
Until the next moment,
with timefly alongside.
Currents and currents - we flow.
At that distant timedelta
We'll meet again
and end this..
An end made
With the danger
Of a kiss.
Copyright ©
TheSpiritx
... [
2006-04-20 11:34:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Timeriver
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 12:47:39 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This is good and not all that different than the freeverse style of beats that I use in the poetry I write.
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Re: Timeriver
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 03:42:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Man! You completely nailed this!!!!!
I've spent a bit of time of late with Kerouac (and Ginsberg, and others) and am so entirely glad I did because I can appreciate this more for having done so. I've only read through this once - will be reading more though - but I have to tell you, this is entirely fabulous! My goodness, yes - this is extremely well executed, end to end. I'm tempted to start carving out particular lines that I found wonderful - but hesitate to because I'd fill up your comment section and somehow I don't feel quite right about 'pulling it apart', so to speak - it's so damn good all together, you know?
Oh and... I read it aloud the first time through (which is not something I usually do). There was something rather insistent right up front that made me want to do so... which is, perhaps, one of the best compliments I can give this piece. And the rhythm... the beat... just blew me away! Excellent, excellent work!!!
Fired up over this one,
~Snemmy
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Re: Timeriver
(User Rating: 1 )
by katt on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 05:21:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Interesting. How refreshing to read this type of poetry. I thought it was excellent! It drew me in as if I was on a journey. Enjoyed reading it.
katt |
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Re: Timeriver
(User Rating: 1 )
by PGreene on
Friday, 21st April 2006 @ 01:24:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow this was amazing. i read it out loud and the beat was consistent the whole way through. b/c the beat was so well created, i was drawn on and on by ur poem. great job! i aspire to write poetry like this one day |
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Re: Timeriver
(User Rating: 1 )
by Clarity_Rising on
Sunday, 14th January 2007 @ 10:31:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I feel like I am exploring the inner
depths of your mind in this poem.
This style is brilliant! Excellent
choice of words.
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Re: Timeriver
(User Rating: 1 )
by BuTTerFly_LoVe on
Wednesday, 28th November 2007 @ 04:52:55 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| you have a gift hahah your an amazing writer i look up to you, love to read all your writes keep them coming |
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