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Last Heartbeat
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 06:19:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
My heartbeat is caught inside my throat,
And I'm choking regret into the air,
My tears are drowning in the hurt,
They know not how to hide from despair.
This heartbeat falters with every breath,
It's waiting for the loves' demise,
No knife nor gun could hurt so much,
The only thing that kills, are lies.
With each and every wretched word,
Of sweetness, touching to the core,
My heartbeat catches in my throat.
I slowly die a little more...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2006-05-04 18:19:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 06:36:39 PM AEST
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You have captured the essence of "loves' demise" in three short stanzas of pain. Not wallowing pain, just knowing pain, "slowly" dying "a little more..." Really enjoyable snapshot of something I've felt in five out of six "serious" relationship in my life, the last having no such pain. Twenty-five years come July. Many compliments.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by LoveStruck_Hippie on
Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 07:16:20 PM AEST
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Very powerful, heartfelt piece. Something I thing anyone who has ever loved and lost can relate to.
*Hugs*
Shannon |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 05:02:26 AM AEST
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This is so powerfully sad, Phyllis. Yet, you write so well. I don't know what else to say except that it is a great poem and...
*ginormous hug*
Sincerely,
Tim |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 10:12:12 AM AEST
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Wow Phil....you have so much emotion here. The flow and rhythm to the piece was wonderful. A sad but exquisite write. Beautiful.
Peace my friend, Laura |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Young_Poet on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 04:39:25 PM AEST
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| awww so sad, but very good. good job!! |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 10:09:36 PM AEST
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Sweets, this was incredibly sad and despondent.
[more tonight than when I first read it even]
That last line holds a terrible truth for so many.
As long as hearts breathe . . . hearts break. There
is not much we can do to change it. Hold on. Out
from the depths of despair rises hope and happiness.
Feeling distress is only but to help us recognize the
elation that always comes into our lives. All we have
to do is invite it . . .
*hugs you tons*
~Breezy |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 12:58:05 PM AEST
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| wonderful write from a wonderful writer , I likee...keep em coming |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Monday, 8th May 2006 @ 11:55:11 PM AEST
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Phil, you translate your heartache so exquisitely into words, that this poem speaks for everyone who has ever had their hearts broken. Kudos for utilizing your pain in such a creatively beautiful way.
~Ave |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Wednesday, 10th May 2006 @ 03:47:36 PM AEST
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wow!
really an excellent post. this line:
"The only thing that kills, are lies"
is one of my favorites. although the entire last stanza is great.
wiz |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 14th May 2006 @ 01:46:08 PM AEST
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So much said with so few words, truely a gift. Powerful message of how painful are lies and deceit....how deep t he wounds. The irony is, the deeper the hurt the greater the capacity to love deeply....albeit very crushing.
Very moving, thanks for sharing
Will |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 10:08:26 AM AEST
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| A very graphic description, I can feel my heart in my own throat as I read this. I also like the vaagueness of exactly whose lies they are...yours or someone elses... |
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Re: Last Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by spencer on
Thursday, 25th May 2006 @ 06:38:06 AM AEST
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| i feel alot of emotion from this poem, very good |
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