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the smell of white
Contributed by
burdened
on
Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 11:42:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
surreal
|
you're a violent little thing--
and you won't love.
you won't love.
you won't.
tediously marketing eveything
you've always wanted to be.
standing porcelin--
powdered heart again--
a wax and wane away from living
that dream.
a little raindrop-girl.
trickling down
down
down.
shattering magnificently:
showing the world exactly how
how
how
beauty should end--
with a cry
not a word just a
sound
and a passionate LO--!
as if you meant to say love.
tell them all again;
you're so gifted with words.
you've got them--pull them in.
so gifted with words.
scoop and claw them in!
your gifted words.
lock them tight again!
gifted words.
but you're motionless...
wield that powerful jaw.
what is wrong with you?--
who posessed you with flaw?
you weren't like this.
not like this.
never like this...
BEFORE.
and your fingers are trying to find...
that key and that lock
with the hole for the curious--
trying to see what they claimed to have lost.
but their lies are thick
and scented--
roses.
tempting, yes?
apparently, you asked for this.
at least, that's what He said.
but it's alright--
it will be alright.
no one needs silhouettes
that cast jealousy,
locked doors,
reserved keys--
a bed meant for liberty!
emotional and physical healing!
you will be fine.
untouched and pristine.
those eyes mean nothing--
those hands--
that smile--
those raising cheeks.
but gestures, they are.
polite acknowledgement;
petite recognition.
and you won't love.
you won't love.
you won't.
Copyright ©
burdened
... [
2006-05-06 11:42:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the smell of white
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 12:09:12 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Excellent! This poem is gripping, an expose of a person who appears to have disregard for the good of others. Quite a passionate write, may this person receive there just desserts one day.
Em |
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Re: the smell of white
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shade on
Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 04:41:50 PM AEST
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Great poem!
I love the style.
Drew me in and kept me there until the end. |
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Re: the smell of white
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 7th May 2006 @ 04:35:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Well, I must say, wow. This is some of the finest free verse I have encountered in a long time. The word choices are all excellent, as is the format - sprawling, but based off of the impact of the words and their meaning, not some imagined rule of what should go where. Emotional and skilled. Well done!
Andrew |
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