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Fairytale Dream
Contributed by
wizard
on
Friday, 12th May 2006 @ 06:01:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
Upon a time, though hardly once
(on a day spent in pure silence)
I had a vision of love so grand
a love to hold within my hand
This fairytale dream kept in my quill
written upon this page to instill
a chance for a dream to once come true
a chance for a dream as pure as you
A noble guest granted from Eden,
with a sparkling love eternally golden
like the hue of a thousand stars;
and Eden now was forever ours
I took you on a treasured walk
and used my wand to unlock
the secret gate on this virgin trail;
all its secrets, ours to unveil
And all these secrets were of love
the kind fairytales are written of
we learned these secrets and kept them well
without a soul to ever tell
If my magic wand was true
Id conjure heaven down to you
in this fairy tale wed live
and a happy ending to you Id give
When to Eden you return
and Im alone and my heart will burn
my wand will sparkle in your name
and Eden shall never be the same
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2006-05-12 18:01:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Friday, 12th May 2006 @ 08:13:08 PM AEST
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fantastic write bro..
brings to mind the days or yore..
awesome~
B |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 12th May 2006 @ 10:28:13 PM AEST
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Paul~
This write, so full of beautiful thoughts and soft dreams was like
a caress of the heart. Incredibly well written and the flow is perfection.
The story it tells holds such a longing within it. So completely
gentle, it took my breath away.
I find the ending a little sad, though. I see a happier one in
this garden of secrets . . .
too beautiful for words
~Breezy |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 12:37:02 AM AEST
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| BEAUTIFUL |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 11:08:06 AM AEST
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Very imaginative and dream like great writting
Ben |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 14th May 2006 @ 01:04:14 AM AEST
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Very beautifull-n-dreamy.
huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 02:10:48 AM AEST
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| fantastic... bravo.. I like.. RL |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 08:28:01 PM AEST
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Awesome write, Paul....
Do dreams really come true??
Jenni |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lilly-Quill on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 05:41:52 AM AEST
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There is much to say for this kind of enchantment. Such a magical flair of poetry and "just the right mix" of sentimental passion; I love it.
~Lilly-Quill
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 10:28:07 PM AEST
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I read this when it it posted ... I have been back a time or two ... I meant each time, to leave a comment and yet found myself pulled away at every chance. So I'mma just ignore life for a moment and finally leave a comment here ... I think many of us face this same bridge, and those that live the tale, are the ones that are courageous enough to cross it. That said ... I could only make the recommendation that maybe you could avoid the immeadiate repetition of these lines ...
"a chance for a dream to once come true
a chance for a dream as pure as you
If my magic wand was true
I’d conjure heaven down to you"
I don't dilike any of the lines ... just think they could be separated more or altered slightly *shrugs*
Just my take on a wonderful read.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 06:54:42 AM AEST
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Paul~
Remarkable, dreamy, beautiful and yet the ending oh so sad. Dreams do come true my friend if u believe in them.I might sound like a real air head, but hey I'm an eternal dreamer. A wonderful and well executed write penned by a very gifted poet. I hope ur dreams come true my friend. All the best to u.
*eternal smiles*
~*suzie Q*~ |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by candysears on
Monday, 22nd May 2006 @ 08:42:28 PM AEST
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You are an excellent poet...
The writes id read from you is
Simply beautiful...
God Bless! |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sony_Boat on
Sunday, 4th June 2006 @ 01:45:08 PM AEST
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| It is nice to have emotions, every type. They are so very useful in order to create what is. Life just is, emotions, realistic, or not. Beautiful poem, keep writing. |
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Tuesday, 13th June 2006 @ 12:59:07 PM AEST
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Excellent Excellent Excellent
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Re: Fairytale Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 03:11:57 PM AEST
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Again, I find technical and detailed comment redundant to all the good comments you've already received, so I just want to say I'm enjoying just drifting through the library of genius! This is just dang beautiful!
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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