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The last laugh
Contributed by
somnium
on
Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 02:23:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
You lay me down
and you beat me
You let me drown
To defeat me
You seperate
The wheat from chaff
You full of hate
Had the last laugh
I rose again
For my revenge
I breathed again
So to avenge
I lay you down
To destroy you
I killed your frown
To implore you
Call you to die
And so the staff
Of hell watched as I
Had the last laugh
Copyright ©
somnium
... [
2006-05-24 14:23:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The last laugh
(User Rating: 1 )
by blackprayer on
Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 02:38:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| Very angry poem and I did like it. IMHO: I just feel you could have added some words to create full sentences to add some power to the poem... Just my thoughts. That and I wouldn't try so overly hard to rhyme... That's just me though. :) |
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