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The bad SMELL of the cricket werewolf
Contributed by
vitamin_joe
on
Sunday, 28th May 2006 @ 10:02:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
this yellow dog
and his big bone
caused such a commotion
down at the cricket club
biting the cricketers
chewing their bats
and chasing the ball
he was the baddest dog
in lincoln
he had big yellow teeth
and a smelly head
and he had matted yellow hair,
like goldielocks after she had
fallen into a
swamp of lost thoughts
the cricketer's called him
'the yellow dog'
they had a love/hate relationship
they loved him because
he made the game
more fun
and hated him because
he was a bastard
with a smelly head!
he ***** on the lawn
and humped the wickets
and got ***** on wine
in the pavilion
anyway one day
he was so bad that
well, let me tell you
what he did first;
he pooped
on the groundkeeper's
hat
in the shape of
a smaller hat
and when it set hard,
he wore it
and then
he died
from hat complications
and we ate him
for
a laugh
and the cricketers continued
with their silly game
-oh, said one cricketer
-I liked the dog
-yes, said another
-shame he's dead
but the dog
suddenly came
alive again
he ate the hat
and his eyes watered
and then he died again
but not before
killing the two cricketers
with a long yellow
dandylion
the club got together some money
and buried the two cricketers
and they shoved the dog's
corpse into a hole
by the silly mid-off
and thought no more
about it
until halloween
that year the night
was cold
the moon was full
the trees were bare
and a calm settled
over the ground
the scene of a
floodlit late-night friendly
between Lincoln and Yorkshire
All at once,
The cricketers heard
a scratching sound
from the silly mid-off
the dog had come alive again!
as a zombie
how cool
He pulled his rangy body
from the crumbling soil
And howled
the zombie dog staggered
toward the cricket pavilion
growling brains, brains!
it was the witching hour
and his yellow eyes
spun
hypnotising all who saw him
in the pallid moonlight
an evil lurked
in the form
of a yellow
werewolf
and when one cricketer
saw the apparition
his jaw dropped
and lasers shot out
of the yellow dog's eyes
cutting the heads off the
flowers around the pavilion.
-zombie dog! zombie dog!
-he's a killer!
screamed the cricketer
-yes, but he's got
a lovely fluffy snout
said a
well-kept elderly chap
with no idea about
the jaws of death
that sat within
that lovely fluffy snout
a cloud passed
over the moon
and the werewolf
drooled with rabid hunger
and then he farted
he suddenly
looked very embarrassed
he fell onto
the rug of shame,
whereupon
he started writhing around
whimpering -who will be scared
of me now?
-being a
farty werewolf
is no fun
at all
anyway, the cricketers started to laugh
and the yellow dog/werewolf farted AGAIN
only louder
-I am nothing but a smelly yellow bully
he whined
-oh but then I do like it!
-big bad wolf. he's farty!
shouted a cricketer
-pooee!
-don't go near! he smells
rather rancid
like a rotten cabbage
in reverse
ha ha!
-stinky dustbin wolf farty bum
said the groundskeeper
lets give him a cuddle
and then a kickin
and so it was
and the yellow werewolf
troubled them
no more
except he watered
the green
on sundays
(by the cricket ground's
writers group)
Copyright ©
vitamin_joe
... [
2006-05-28 10:02:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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