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Dead, but Alive
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Friday, 7th February 2003 @ 07:00:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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Inexplicably, I sit
In some dark corner
Adding a cut for every harsh thing said to me
Voices in my head influence me
Congratulating, praising for every cut
I smile some encouragement all I crave
Squishing further into my forlorn corner
By doing so digging another foot of earth
Cutting some more, the blood flows
My hands move like lightning
Trying to sop up the blood, some tears come
Gradually I lose, its like trying to stop a battalion
With one wounded, pitiful, weakened peasant
The cuts grow red and angry
The tranquility gives way to anguish
I cry like some bewitched savage
Lumber into the hallway
Roll around as if I'm on fire
Lick at the floor, my tongue turns to dust
My mind I lock in place
I stumble 'round with the composure of a drunk
Line up some pills, my friends
Effexor, Lithium, Ativan, Paxil
Tylenol 3's, Tylenol with codeine,
Coumadins, Advil... their all here
I down them all
The warmth of ecstasy spreads across me
The healing balm covers my wounds
My limbs grow weak
My eyes roll back
I slump to the ground
I'm alive, but I'm dead
I'm alive, but I'm dead
My eyes shut tight
My mouth turns from a frown
To a frozen smile
And why shouldn't I?
I've escaped, free at last
I'm alive, but no longer on this earth
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2003-02-07 07:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dead, but Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Friday, 7th February 2003 @ 10:28:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Bobo,so very touching and yet sad in a way,I hope you dont really feel like this with suicide!
Take care! Christina |
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Re: Dead, but Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Friday, 7th February 2003 @ 05:34:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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your words still come across strong. Just keep writing. I believe in your talent
Shari |
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Re: Dead, but Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by roisin on
Friday, 7th February 2003 @ 06:39:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Joel...and I do agree with you... this is rather good!..very vivid...
rosie |
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Re: Dead, but Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spasmodic_Reality on
Saturday, 8th February 2003 @ 02:42:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh Wow..
*wipes a tear*
i dunno if that tears is from how good it is..
or how emotionally sad it is..
great work..
i someday hope to grow up and be just like you :) |
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Re: Dead, but Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on
Saturday, 8th February 2003 @ 01:32:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is so good...i love it... |
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Re: Dead, but Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 10th February 2003 @ 08:49:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| good grief joel... i sit here and read your poetry..i read them all but it takes me forever to comment..always have to come back; this comment is straight out right now...love the feelings you invoke in this poem; who doesn't love feeling high? but you could get high on life or love; and i love the way you wrote this..even though it sounds like the only way to have you not be cutting yourself is to get high... honestly, life is so precious..i want you to tell me why you do that, thats it.. love and huggs to you, ever nessa |
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Re: Dead, but Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by LadyDama on
Wednesday, 12th February 2003 @ 04:54:24 AM AEST
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excellent poem... although i no longer want to die... i still feel writing it out is what gets us through... even today... very vivid... and a (thankfully) past memory for myself...
by the way... AHH Effexor... now that is one crazy antidepressant! blech... |
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Re: Dead, but Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by karoody on
Sunday, 23rd February 2003 @ 10:03:12 PM AEST
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joel,
you have a way of explaining emotion so that many can understand. i agree with the others. believe in your talent. writing is an awesome way of expression, keep it up.
your friend,
kara |
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