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Absent Muse
Contributed by
wizard
on
Sunday, 4th June 2006 @ 09:28:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
A time beheld beside the sun
As your beauty shadows long,
Raining down upon everyone
As you sing your enticing song.
Hand in hand we walked this line
Concealed, for none to see
Now your music is benign
And we shall never be.
To this song we danced alone;
A secret we'd always keep,
We relished in its defying tone
Now for but a dance we weep.
For now my absent muse I hold
In a lone memory cajoled.
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2006-06-04 21:28:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Sunday, 4th June 2006 @ 10:49:29 PM AEST
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"Now for but a dance we weep"
I can relate...
Touching...really sad but so lovely..
Jenni |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Sunday, 4th June 2006 @ 11:03:30 PM AEST
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As your beauty shadows long
I just love that. |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th June 2006 @ 12:59:28 AM AEST
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Lovely write wiz a tribute to all the facets of this emotion called love that posesses us
while in the same breath beats us into submission. great job.
Ben |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by JGB on
Monday, 5th June 2006 @ 01:48:34 AM AEST
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Beautiful and yet sad!
Great Write!
Joanna |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 5th June 2006 @ 06:45:48 AM AEST
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Awesome writing.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Monday, 5th June 2006 @ 12:43:32 PM AEST
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whether a personal muse or just the writer's muse..we all long for that dance to inspire us. great write.
mary |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th June 2006 @ 03:41:59 PM AEST
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A heart-wrenching piece for sure. Weep not, dear wiz.
Some of us never get to dance at all ...
A well crafted and beautifully sad sonnet. (you done
well with this one)
~Breezy |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Monday, 5th June 2006 @ 08:18:14 PM AEST
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great sonnet bro-
..with appropriately placed italics..
most times, puncuation here is wielded like a gun by a haphazzard and waywardly child.. methinks-
..just as important an element as the words themselves..puncuation..
but here.. there's great emphasis implied by the usage..
on the muse.. we both know, all too well, how quickly it comes and goes..(assuming it's love)
..and so we can only hope to get what we give.
5..
Billy |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 5th June 2006 @ 11:22:07 PM AEST
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Wiz, such a sad, yet beautifully penned sonnet that pulls at the heart strings.
Weep not my friend and dry ur eyes for there is still hope for u. 2morrow is another day. May sorrow be washed from ur aching heart and may it be replaced with love and happiness. Well done, Wiz.
big heartfelt hugs,
~*suzie Q*~ |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sony_Boat on
Wednesday, 7th June 2006 @ 12:07:45 PM AEST
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Hand in hand we walked this line
Concealed, for none to see
Now your music is benign
And we shall never be
This write can affect any reader who finds it
You have greatly expressed such grief here-
seems to be two songs that were hidden, then lost
The words between the lines here-
there is so much to think about in this piece.
Wonderfully written, impressed me to no end
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 02:16:06 PM AEST
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Such sorrow in so few words...it's always a pleasure to visit your account page Wiz. Keep up the writes; they are a treat to read!
Scorp. |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 02:26:44 PM AEST
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| love it. very well written |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 03:38:33 PM AEST
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This... oh, this is what a poet does with it methinks. Heartache placed delicately on the page as it was here, is so damn beautiful.
Moving and yes, beautiful.
Well done, my friend.
~Snemmy |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 07:41:29 PM AEST
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Your poem is so beautiful, sad yes.. but most beautiful..
Yes, beautifully expressed, your emotions and your words are yet so powerfull and they will so much become a wonderful shadow as memory in my mind for a long time to come. I appreciate your style of writing, and I am so very, very happy to read it, your feelings so much did pour out on this paper, and a short poem filled with so much of life once was, brings it into the present moment to .. what do I say.. to...
to recall a most beautiful time.. or, to build up on a memory lost and enjoy the parts of it that were once pleasant to you.
rL |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 03:03:32 PM AEST
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It's all been said in all the comments, Paul, on how good this piece is. All I need to add is I truly enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: Absent Muse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Keilantra on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 10:13:10 AM AEST
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the last 2 stanzas of this were beautifully done. I enjoyed this. Simple but fillling. Good job
xXx
~kei |
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