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Message in a Bottle

Contributed by lostsubconscience on Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 11:25:37 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove



I write to you:

Clouds are forming in the sky
I feel like I could break down and cry
I pray to God that well meet again
You were my lover, and dearest friend
Reunions will never be the same
I miss you so much, only time can stop the pain
When the rain comes down, my thoughts lead to you
I could never find anything else to do
I would hold your picture, as I sat on my bed
Remembering times weve shared, because in my heart, youre not dead
In fact, youre very much alive and real
I feel you swimming through my veins
The propensity is too much, and I can hardly deal
Sometimes I wish it were me instead
With Death who has left me cold in my bed
But I wasnt so lucky to be the one chosen to go
I guess no one could hear the silent tears Ive tried to show
And I have cried my eyes dry
No more tears do I have left to hide
So I swiped away the past that was pouring out of my leaking and rusted spicket
Through which far too many horrible truths have been revealed, and I missed it
Missed the chance to try and save you
Being honest, Im not sure Ill make it through
But Faith had different plans
And now Im holding whats left of you here in my hands
It was too late to savor the light the wind had blown
And the last bit of your candle light burned to the tip of its wick, and then it went out, as the warmth had fled your now vacant home
The light was dimming and had slowly faded
The darkness gave me the gift of a broken heart
That has left me alone and jaded
I hope you can find a way to forgive me for all the hurtful things Ive done
The world without you has turned dark, like the loss of the gleaming sun
For its existence is to heat the earth and to give it life
But most of the time, the only thing I feel and see are the shadows of the night
My intentions were never to cause you pain
Youre like a scar that will always remain
But I think to myself in time it will get better
Thats why Im writing down my poisoned thoughts
All out in this letter
If you can see me from where you are
Please give me the strength to make it far
I hope God realizes how fortunate he is that youre there
Because the life you left behind is prim, and it leaves me in despair
I sit here beneath the willow tree
And at least I know your soul is free
The sky turned to a dark shade of grey
And as it had begun to rain, the seams of mind had started to fray
Youre now united with the angels, and for all of the days to follow
But their hearts are not the ones who are now left empty and hollow
I let the drops of the wet pleasure
Wash away my pain that cannot be measured
So I closed my eyes and whispered: See you on the other side
And for that bleak second in time, I could almost hear you cry
After that I felt somewhat relieved
Now I can one day look forward, and say I believe
Blurred vision do I have no more
Because when its my time to go, my heart will be restored
I looked across the field of rested souls who were lost in deep sleep
And they would never be able to awaken from their slumber, knowing they were finally at peace
They rose up and floated above their graves
Not afraid of leaving their body, their troubled minds have turned to haze
They suddenly feel accomplished, and happy with what their lives have led up to
All their sins have been forgiven, with no where else to go and no more options to choose
The wind blew against my face as I started to smile
Knowing youre presence in this lifetime was well worth while
I let out a sigh not regretting a moment I waste
Because I wont get anywhere if I do, and it only leaves me to haste
I picked myself up off the ground as I clenched my gold locket-inside a picture of you and me
Knowing what I had to do, I moved my legs that seemed to be weighing me down
And made the struggle of walking until Ive reached the sea
In the back of the cemetery I saw the edge of the water, and the waves crashed violently against the rocks
When I reached the border I stepped closer and closer until I was near the end of the dock
It was about a good 20 feet Ive noticed as I looked down
But I could still feel the spray from the mist that high off the ground
My clothes became drenched and my body started to shake
And I would remain standing with one last action I needed to make
I first looked up at the sky and shouted: Im sorry, please forgive me
Then I yanked that gold locket hanging from my chest so very recklessly
I held it by the chain dangling high above my head
And thought carefully for a moment the words about to be said
I whispered out into the loud sound of the ocean
Pondering my thoughts with each and every notion
Im simply running out of time, will you please just show me one last sign?
Then I paused to pay close attention
To see if God had something hed like to mention
And just then, I felt a strong gust of wind pushing me back
And quickly I grabbed a hold of a pole, trying to relapse
But I still had that locket I possessed with love and care
With hair plastered to my face, and not much time left to spare
The powerful gust had finally ceased
My next action leaving me far from pleased
Again I got up and stood right on the edge
Feeling my naked toes hanging, and overlapping the ledge
So many thoughts ran through my mind and I was drowning myself with grief
I hesitated, but the grip of my hand had grown instantly weak
I watched the gold locket sink deeper from the moment it fell
Realitys arctic fingers ran down my spine, with me wishing it was not farewell
My eyes were level with the horizon that seemed to run sideways for eternity
I whispered I have to let go, but in time youll see
With those recently spoken words, I said my last goodbye
I turned around and walked away
Seeing colors changed from grey to red, which ranged far throughout the sky
I have this dream that in the stars we will meet
When it comes true, my life will then be complete
I live my life a day at a time
Wishing you were here to be mine
As days fly by in time and space
Youre gone but Im still here, for this is my place
I sometimes think Will you wait for me in heaven, or stray far away?
My hopes will stay strong, but only God can say
No one could ever come close to taking your place
I do not need evidence to prove loving you was my fate
You were truly the one and only my dear, from the very start
And know that always and forever.. shall you stay in my heart

Goodbye my love, rest in peace
Sincerely yours, signed with memories I keep

--After I have wrote my story in the letter, I rolled it up and put it in a glass bottle
I closed the last chapter with a cork, walked back out to the dock, and cast it out into the ocean with a full throttle
And for the last time in a long while will the salt tears carve their way, and melt wet trails of sorrow that stream down my face
And I shall no longer taste the bitterness of my aching sadness, but instead watch the currents guide my past out of sight, gliding away with poise and grace.--




Copyright © lostsubconscience ... [ 2006-06-10 23:25:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Message in a Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 12:20:13 AM AEST
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Wow, this is so very touching and powerfull.
Sad but yet it's peure raw luv in a bottle.
Incredible writing, even in pain.
luv, huggs, prayer,
emy
I'm sorry for your lose.


Re: Message in a Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 08:29:14 AM AEST
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This is so intensely personal that I felt overwhelmed reading it. And I love the use of the message in a bottle as the main imagery - it really does bring to mind something that you let go and don't know where it will end up. Beautifully written...

~Ave


Re: Message in a Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 10:11:39 AM AEST
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My heart goes out to you, This is just amazing but heartbreaking, Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful write,

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs

LG


Re: Message in a Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 10:39:23 AM AEST
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What an endearing and heart-wrenching write...the post author's note just makes it even more so...Kudos expressing yourself; this is profoundly personal, and therefore memorable...Keep it up!




Scorp.


Re: Message in a Bottle (User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on Tuesday, 13th June 2006 @ 12:56:49 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
This is the deepest Innervision I have evr had the pleasure to drift on...well done.




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