|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Does anyone want me anymore?
Contributed by
BabiBoricua314
on
Tuesday, 20th June 2006 @ 03:57:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
There are times when I'm not noticed by
anyone.
There are times when I do not want to live no more.
Those times.
Those feelings.
Sometimes, I wish to end it all.
To end it all from the pain and the suffering.
My years of pain and heart break.
From the ones who didn't love me.
From the ones who used me.
There are times of saying
"What's the point of living anymore?"
But, there are people who still want me here
and they do not wish to attend my funeral at age 15.
15.
A number of years I had been living.
15.
A number of years I had been surviving.
Copyright ©
BabiBoricua314
... [
2006-06-20 15:57:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Does anyone want me anymore?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 20th June 2006 @ 04:31:05 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| if this poem is true, i think its good that you know that there are still people that want you here. many dont even think they have that. your poem had an interesting way of expressing its tone, but it still lacked emotion. that does work for it in certain ways and works against it. it can give the poem a dead feeling or the feeling that the author put no feeling in it. ill opt for the earlier. you wrote of an interesting contrast at the end. living and surviving. i think existing is a better term for the earlier because surviving and living are kind of opposites. youre very direct in this piece, but there are a lot of things in this that can be elaborated on. such as what sufferings, to get feeling into this. at least have words to justify the means. you use repetition in this, and thats one of the only poetic devices you used. that in itself is unique, but can hurt the poem sometimes because if the concept isnt good enough the poem cant be said to be written well poetically with such and such devices. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Site Help
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
