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Her Brother's Eyes
Contributed by
NoSaint
on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 02:26:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
Hand in hand they walk
Through the fields of green
All the wonders
As yet unseen
The sky above blue with clouds
Fluffy white drift past
Grasshoppers green hopping
In the tall soft grass
A butterfly flit on by
Its colors orange and brown
A daisy white and yellow
Its face pointing down
All so vivid before her
Opens a whole world wide
When she sees the world
Through her brothers eyes
Copyright ©
NoSaint
... [
2006-06-26 14:26:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Her Brother's Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by lilmom101 on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 03:45:43 PM AEST
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| i like it i think if you added a little more like in each little paragrath talk about one thing like the first just talk about the feild or the grass just pick one or make it a feild of grass hen add how tall and how soft and so on the next talk about the grasshopper his looks sounds and his movement then add how she see through her brother eyes and the other stuff about the wonders in the last two talk about the clouds all by them selves and the last paragraph talk about the color and the vividtry and keep the words. and id say add the flower in somewhere maybe with the grass |
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Re: Her Brother's Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by jerseysue on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 04:22:41 PM AEST
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| I think your poem is lovely, and it is how you wanted it to be. Short and sweet with a meaning. I enjoyed it. Sue x |
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Re: Her Brother's Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by OzChick on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 07:30:50 PM AEST
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A beautiful little poem. Could be about seeing the field through the eyes of a child also. Very sweet.
~Jenny~ |
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Re: Her Brother's Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 27th June 2006 @ 11:01:14 PM AEST
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this is beautiful Shari!
Michelle |
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Re: Her Brother's Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 02:38:01 PM AEST
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In the case of this poem, brevity is an ally to beauty and beautiful. A brother's eyes that sees the beauty in things, especially with and through his sister, is a blessing to behold. Wonderful write.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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