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Despair of the Untold
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Tuesday, 4th July 2006 @ 11:00:31 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
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Tauntingly circling 'round the moon
is the forbidden room without a view
She wears a broken smile---
shattered fragments for every mile
Exhibiting flaws in the light of day
fraying fortress built over time
A simple concept of give and receive-
agony of loss; love to bereave
Nature of the beast; kill or be killed
prophecy fulfilled when the moon dips low
Is it worth it without a struggle?
Why should love be easy, when the pain is double?
The past wears a glassy-eyed stare
painfully aware, like a cumbersome cloak
Sheer hues of a force to be reckoned with
unrelenting bravery based solely on myth
Hastily refining time; a grain in the sand
much in demand--- this slip of the tongue
A remourseful paradox buried in truce
flaunting weaknesses disguised as a ruse
Her broken smile shatters on the ground
a disquieting sound; of something not meant to be
Weeping, she stares down at the floor-
her jagged lips be cur'sed no more.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2006-07-04 11:00:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 4th July 2006 @ 12:46:37 PM AEST
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You've got this way with imagery scorpz. It's very opening about yourself - baring. Most try their hardest to conceal any flaws possible, it's human nature to do so.
"Why should love be easy, when the pain is double?"
That lines entirely true, people talk about love at first sight, and how for a lot of people love comes easy, but was it worth all the pain if it crumbles?
Really enjoyed this one scorpy, hope to see more.
-Cassy |
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by poet_in_waiting on
Tuesday, 4th July 2006 @ 02:27:15 PM AEST
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Love that rhyming scheme ... in the 1st 2 lines of every stanza ... real nice
great flowing and thoughtful text ..
cheers
sean |
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 4th July 2006 @ 03:49:38 PM AEST
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Wow Scorp, this one is very straight-forward. Good meaningful piece. Fell into those first and second stanzas....great stuff.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 4th July 2006 @ 06:09:17 PM AEST
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excellent post scorp...love it!!
wiz |
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 4th July 2006 @ 06:54:12 PM AEST
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Scorp~
When it comes to affairs of the heart I'm last to give advice in that department, lol. Sometimes ya wonder is it worth it for when love fades is one up to facing the pain and suffering that comes afterwards.
An excellent post by u my dear.
Sending love & warm wishes ur way always~
take care dearest ~*Scorp*~
love, hugs n prayers,
~suzie Q~ |
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 10:36:23 AM AEST
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Holy heck scorpy!!
As always, you can manifest an emotion of dire straits in such a compelling
and heartwrenching way.
That last stanza is positively lamentable!! If only we could glimpse ahead of time
what is to befall us, would we still want to swim in the ocean of emotional bliss?
hmmmm ... perhaps it IS better not to see after all. In fact, I think it is through these trials
that we learn and grow and find a strength that will carry us through our future endevours.
There is, after all, always hope. : )
Awesome write chiquita!!
*hugs*
~Breezy
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Monday, 10th July 2006 @ 09:59:59 AM AEST
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What comes to mind is the potency of our pain. The expressed anguish is difficult to bare, but the unexpressed pain held within is even a deeper despair. An effective rhyme pattern adds to the wonderful flow of this poem. Even in your "straight forward" writes there is just enough obscrutiy to add an effective mystic to the poem.
A beautiful write, scorp
Will |
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ruby2sdy on
Tuesday, 11th July 2006 @ 10:31:31 AM AEST
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I really like this, it just seems so tragic and poignant... two of my favourite themes, tragedy and poignancy!!! Very nice, really lovely imagery and an excellent rhyme scheme, complex in its simplicity, a little like life, huh?
2sdyx |
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 18th July 2006 @ 02:02:53 PM AEST
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This one gave me such a sense of ..you.
You are the woman in this piece or more correctly she is an aspect of you. I totally sense that, so much so, its scary. It's like a part of youy is on this page....amazing! |
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Sunday, 6th August 2006 @ 01:50:56 PM AEST
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Well, dang..... it's a volcano. All that hot lava under the surface... the pressure... the smoke occasionally spouting out....
I think it's foolishness to believe that there isn't significant impact just because the darn thing hasn't visually erupted, you know? There's all sorts of stuff going on within the earth's core up to and until (and even after) anyone even realizes the volcano is active. And if I may be so bold as to suggest as much... I think some of it spilled out here.
Lava and layers... least that's what I found here, Scorpitatoodles. *smiles*
Ever a pleasure,
Snem
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Re: Despair of the Untold
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 8th January 2008 @ 07:52:56 PM AEST
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Very heart wrenching but beatifully written.
huggs,
emy |
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