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Discontented
Contributed by
Merry
on
Saturday, 22nd July 2006 @ 05:46:39 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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*************** Short staccato messages Slipped under the door I smile when I read them Picture you naked and pleased Laugh at our foolish desires Such folly will get us into trouble my dear But we are two sides of one coin Danger and excitement fuel our senses How long have we dallied in the garden How long before they notice were gone You whisper who cares - in my ear Short staccato messages A litany of our sins without tears Trying to accept contentment A daily routine we survive But it only lasts a short while Until our restless hearts yearn For so much more than we have
Copyright ©
Merry
... [
2006-07-22 17:46:39] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Discontented
(User Rating: 1 ) by xxbreathlessx on
Saturday, 22nd July 2006 @ 08:20:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i'd say this is bittersweet and well written! good job! |
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Re: Discontented
(User Rating: 1 ) by Unbreakable on
Saturday, 22nd July 2006 @ 10:00:31 PM AEST (User
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I love your choice of words. It seems so elegant, but sneaky and daring at the same time. Powerful combination. Great write
Krystal |
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Re: Discontented
(User Rating: 1 ) by kttykttywfreckls on
Sunday, 23rd July 2006 @ 03:39:01 PM AEST (User
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lovely and passionate
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Re: Discontented
(User Rating: 1 ) by Spike on
Thursday, 27th July 2006 @ 06:54:06 AM AEST (User
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Ah, Merry, again weaving the prosaic and mundane into magic. Dangerous liasons and the unfillable heart.
Spike |
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Re: Discontented
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Friday, 27th October 2006 @ 04:50:45 PM AEST (User
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"But we are two sides of one coin
Danger and excitement fuel our senses
How long have we dallied in the garden
How long before they notice we’re gone
You whisper – who cares - in my ear"
I could read until I was 100 and never come across a more perfect verse than this.
I've said it before..I say it now....you are the BEST free verse writer.
Roses at my daisies feet
Larry
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