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Ruin
Contributed by
keilantra
on
Sunday, 23rd July 2006 @ 10:11:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I found you amongst the broken pages and elegant script,
Writhing in your splendid stories
That were that were less than fiction,
And no one but us could ever guess.
We had been at the top
On every star and every palace
There was not a tongue that our names didnt reach
But we lived so, so fast
We were never going to last.
Constantly changing, but ever our selves,
We were the flames to paint the sky red
And the paint to burn it black;
The resistance that everyone admired.
No, the cynics didnt matter
Because the affection had it covered
We were living at our best
When the moon was in shine.
I grew used to your varying shades of eloquence
And you grew expectant of me
When the liquor didnt do its job
It was time to leave.
And the graying pictures on the wall
That you had painted, served
Only as a memory, something to remind me
Like the palaces that had gone down,
We were never meant to last.
Copyright ©
keilantra
... [
2006-07-23 10:11:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ruin
(User Rating: 1 )
by kttykttywfreckls on
Sunday, 23rd July 2006 @ 01:39:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this story sounds familiar. good job. |
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Re: Ruin
(User Rating: 1 )
by doug on
Sunday, 23rd July 2006 @ 02:03:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I really enjoyed the subject
matter in this poem. I think it
has a lot of power to it.
Perhaps not for everyone
but there are some like me
who have lived and loved in
this manner.
Compelling , truly , doug |
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Re: Ruin
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Sunday, 23rd July 2006 @ 04:04:25 PM AEST
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| Now, I was not expecting to read something like this. Excellent piece of work you have here, I loved it. |
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Re: Ruin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 23rd July 2006 @ 07:46:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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stanzas 3 and 4 are remarkable..
they're a perfect intro to the final 2-
I've bound many evolutionary thoughts here..
but I digress-
the work is fantastic~
Truly..
Billy
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Re: Ruin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 23rd July 2006 @ 09:32:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Kei~
I absolutely love the way u have written this. The rhyme and flow sensational. It's so sad when good things must come to an end. Sadly this is an everyday thing. Just when u think everything is going well something always happens destroying the happiness that once was. I can so much relate :-(.
You have done a superb job on this write. Keep up the great work.
hugs n prayers,
sue m |
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