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True Perfection
Contributed by
True
on
Monday, 24th July 2006 @ 01:41:29 AM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
Once there was a woman made of silver
Refined and elegant
She watched life with subdued dignity
But her skin was cold and unfeeling
Her eyes held no spark
No twinkle
No glint
Her movements were as graceful
As winged Mercury
But her dance held no love
No passion
No feeling
Some would say she was perfect
There were no flaws upon her skin
Her eyes were emeralds
And her clothing spun gold
Her hair was onyx strings
Fine as spider webs
Her lips the softest rubies
She never tripped
Never stumbled
Never fell
But she also never lived
Never loved
Never hoped, cared, or dreamed
Her life was beauty
And nothing else
Once there was a woman made of wood
Warm and Earthy
She danced through life
On the breath of the wind
But her movements were stiff and unyielding
Her skin was knotted and hard
But she was alive
And she loved it
She sang the song of birds
And danced with the squirrels
Her eyes were aspen leaves
Her hair was willow wisps
Her clothing woven flowers
Her lips painted
With the dying breath of fall
Few would say she was perfect
Or beautiful
Or graceful
But she lived
Whos to say
Where true perfection lies
I say its easy enough
If you take a good look at their lives
Happiness finds those who seek it
Copyright ©
True
... [
2006-07-24 01:41:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: True Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 24th July 2006 @ 01:50:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I honestly feel that you should have put this piece in the "inspirational" category. There are some wonderful lines here ("Her lips painted/With the dying breath of fall" is gorgeous!) but it is the overall impression that this left me with that I find so touching.
"Living" isn't really a straightforward word. And here, I think you've honored its truest meaning. Well done!
~Snemmy |
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Re: True Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by kttykttywfreckls on
Monday, 24th July 2006 @ 02:02:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love it, and it is too beautiful for any comment I could give to do this poem justice..... |
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Re: True Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Monday, 24th July 2006 @ 05:03:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Thereis a strong moral to your poem, It made me think.. Very beautiful poem as well. xxx |
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Re: True Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 24th July 2006 @ 09:48:58 AM AEST
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Beautiful. I loved how you described the woman of the wood. Delightful read. I'm like Snemmers, I found this piece inspirational. Well penned.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: True Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jeff_Scott_Morehead on
Monday, 24th July 2006 @ 01:17:20 PM AEST
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You hit the nail on the head with the ending line of this great write.
Jeff |
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Re: True Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by doug on
Monday, 24th July 2006 @ 02:34:08 PM AEST
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| You've done something here that is indeed true perfection. . A poem that embraces life and uplifts the spirit. A feeling of happy contentment is what this brings. truly , Doug |
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Re: True Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 10th December 2008 @ 09:08:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow, incredible. i could not have put it better myself. your imagery was perfect and your message was absolutely right. food for thought. perfection.
-phil |
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