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Monday Morning
Contributed by
Man_On_High
on
Monday, 31st July 2006 @ 10:47:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
At least time has not given in..
that it ticks tediously on, keeps my faith.
There was a dead fly in that night-long
glass of amber and dreams of mine..
and I drank it for all the best reasons
and now that drown departed parasite
is presumably swimming, tangled inside me
forever lost in its fly-blown nirvana..
dreary enough a resting place..
even for an inebriated fly.
Shirtless I sit Gahndi-like in the cardinal-black chair..
jaded thoughts drooping, like dead daffodils
on unseen views
of the girl who loves me..
gliding back into the dawn
on razor-keen melodies of a lisping song~
..the suburban female monarch
of all my mad-cap middleyears
smiling, in my mind,
that mad and mild midsummer smile
hurling my thoughts to perdition
over the absent static of a manmade condition
that would carry her heart to mine;
demented eels wriggling throughout
the tattered net of all my mind.
Monday should be a null and void thing,
struck from Gregory's Calendar-
It offends against civilized taste..
with it's sour amber stench;
a minature judgement day
for hardworking debauchees
who rise from slumber, naked
out of sea-tossed sheets,
assiduously avoiding mirrors-
from that, which led me
so freely into full-blown temptation,
now a raging volcano..
rumbling in my ravished belly.
Grey is the mood.. and the color of my mind
in this sunken undersea world of Monday Morning time,
where even the happy sounds of ~children at play~
grates along my nerves
like the scraping of a rusty gate.
Tumbling all crumpled from my womanless bed,
the single gleam of promise that hit my inflamed eye
was the overnight cache of waiting amber:
my tabernacle of doom and salvation~
Yet time has kept vigil.. and my faith:
that it will NOT cease in speeding up this, a morning on Monday.
Billy.. on Monday - 2006
Copyright ©
Man_On_High
... [
2006-07-31 22:47:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 31st July 2006 @ 11:02:34 PM AEST
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Faith would say "awesomely wicked". That's what I felt when I read this, awesomely wicked, with such a panoramic view into the Monday Morning you have painted here. Sadness, loneliness, and that fly!!!! Very descriptive you are with the metaphors and so brilliantly written.
Thinking, yeah, just get rid of Mondays but then it would probably just make our Tuesdays that much worse.
Take care and thank you for sharing this awesome poem.
Tim
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by sohangme on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 12:01:38 AM AEST
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very good poetry....great details.
Nicole |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 04:24:13 AM AEST
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| You know this could be in a poetry book, you are very talented, have you ever had anything published because if not you should..I really loved this its brilliant. xxx |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 09:06:06 AM AEST
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Very well expressed my new england friend, a stench of frustration and druggery looms over this poem like an unwanted shaddow lingers in a photograph. As always, most scholarly written and yet the meaning is never cluddered with technique. A most enjoyable read .
*****
Ben |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Leslie on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 01:27:05 PM AEST
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| Your poem was so vivid and full of imagery. I think I have seen that fly before. Great poem. Well, at least it is now Tuesday!! |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 03:49:51 PM AEST
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I dont even know what to say this is so incredible Im speechless. Very vivid and the details untouchable.
Michelle |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 05:01:01 PM AEST
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I agree with Michelle
this is an incredible piece of writing.
hugs |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 05:48:47 PM AEST
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I got this thing on weekends of listening to country music. Come Monday morning my radio is set on a talk radio station and all comes tumblin' down. Dang! It's Monday morning! Awesomely and vividly described, just like ya say, let's just take it out o' the calender. But then, Tuesday gits the rap! Magnificent, Billy. Just plain ol' magnificent. Poor fly!
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 06:38:18 PM AEST
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My sweet Billy, those last two lines hold a remarkable revelation ..
in this myriad of anguished thought, I see something more. The fact that you embraced
time in both the opening and the ending, is quite telling. That you mentioned faith is
utterly hopeful. Certain moments have a way of gripping us so intensely, we barely
remember to breathe in trying to deal with the emotion of it all. That we, as poets, have
the ability to write it out and thereby process it, [for me], is incredibly fortunate.
You must know there are many ways about this piece that both captivate and sadden me.
That second last stanza {before the couplet} impressed me immensely. You have
described the inabilty to tolerate the ordinary musings that usually hold so much
wonder for us, as humans, when suffering from the affliction of anguished emotion.
Always, your writes encourage and generate my inspiration and create within me the need
and desire to improve. It is a rare and notable ability, sweets.
Exceptionally written. Bravo Billy!
~Breezy
[hoping Tuesday morning was better for you. *wink* xo] |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 07:16:47 PM AEST
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Billy...
I have never liked Monday Mornings for the fact it reminds me of what lays ahead of me for the rest of the week.
You have always been able to express what troubles u in ur writes dearest Billy~ I felt ur sadness, lonliness and pain throughout this write, but you also manage to keep faith alive within you.
An extraordinary poet is someone who can make the reader feel/relate to their work. You my good friend go beyond that.
I so much look forward to fridays *smiles*
A very well penned and delivered write. Superb, even through it's sadness~
Wishing you the best always my dear friend.
love, hugs n prayers,
suzie Q |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sasha on
Tuesday, 1st August 2006 @ 11:45:29 PM AEST
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| Brilliant imagery, and a lovely poem... |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd August 2006 @ 01:16:09 PM AEST
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This is just so darn descriptive! Woven into a caricature of such a nasty Monday morning that I could almost taste the remains of fly in my mouth.
Bravo! |
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Re: Monday Morning
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Monday, 14th August 2006 @ 01:25:30 AM AEST
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wow..so descriptive this was...truly amazing...such a perfect expression of emotion.
i know this Monday morning gloom all too well, and, of late, it seems to be, for me anyway...a perpetual state..
great write bro,
wiz |
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