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Spaces
Contributed by
keilantra
on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 06:51:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Where there ought to have been laughter Now is only questioning silence, the tears Accumulate on my cheeks.
Empty space next to me Where you could have been (should have been).
Smiles dissolve into Pouted lips youll be okay I want to believe, need to believe These acidic words Probably meant to heal But the hurt just g r o w s w i d e r .
And I would tell you all this But its the roaring of the engine thats too loud And Im afraid you might not hear me.
With every word put down Im feeling less intact But this way, there are no chances to take.
Crying into shoulders Hoping the emotions of this cruel summer Wont swallow us whole.
I need to
detach myself
Because its come to this now.
Watching you walk away with Your suitcases And our memories
Empty spaces
Where you could have been (where you should be)
Copyright ©
keilantra
... [
2006-08-07 18:51:50] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Spaces
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 08:24:33 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I'm very fond of the fifth strophe. Interpretable and poetic, very nice.
Larkspur. |
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Re: Spaces
(User Rating: 1 ) by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 7th August 2006 @ 08:44:03 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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It is one thing to miss a person when they go away - but quite another to miss their presence in moments that you're certain that were meant to exist in. In this particular instance, it is the what that is being expressed here as much as the how perfectly it is being expressed that moves me. I believe I understand this and it leaves me aching because I feel I do.
Excellent work. I know it's much bigger even than what appears on the page... but what you did get on the page is quite something.
Keep writing -
~Snemmy |
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Re: Spaces
(User Rating: 1 ) by 3660Days on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 11:29:54 PM AEST (User
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Overall, quite brilliant.
Something worth reading, 100%.
Bravo to you. |
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